The Keroberos Bank of Zion

I choose the Dark Side of the Force

2006-07-01T08:55:00.003-07:00

*all timings are as precise as possible, understand temporal approximations

[Music]
{Two 29 inch Televisions}

(Laptop Monitor)

Sunday June 25, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black hat, black pants, black priest shirt, black jedi coat, black socks, black shoes

0000 – Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, at ITPL tree sewer system
0200 – around this time, got up and walked home, stopping at page 201. I literally begged God to leave that tree because the mosquitoes were so bad and I was tired. It would have taken me another five to maybe ten hours sitting in that same place to finish the book, and that would have been an increasing security risk.
I spoke, “Permission to be human.”
I did have the comforting revelation that stopping in the middle of the book like that was to teach me multi-tasking, so I intend on missing books up which I haven’t been doing. I’ve been reading one book after another. The books I’m working on now are How to Be A Winner at Chess, Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, and Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl.
Anne Frank, you have no idea how much I’ve been getting turned on about the idea of fucking a nice 13 year old Jewish girl. I even had the vision of her bent over with her dress possibly up, looking back at me, expecting me to fuck her ripe pussy from behind.
0300 – got back around this time, crashed on the couch, woke up around 0830 but didn’t get up
1300 – got up around this time and ate the leftover rice with curds and pickle, made a three egg omellete with vegetables, ate that with chopsticks.
CHOPSTICKS ARE MANDATORY.
I know I’m into fasting and all, but if I can afford it I should start eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner so as to “blend in”. Christ bled on the cross so that I could eat his flesh and drink his blood no matter the time of day or night, depending on His Will of course.
One of my dreams was of me in a grocery store loading up the shopping cart, but I felt like I was being chased. America the land of waste and brand name products EXILING me to the third world where people beg for bread and rice.
BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna.
1432 – Read out loud The Diary of Anne Frank, theintro, the back page, the closing books, etc.
Yes, I AM the guy sick enough to rape Anne Frank… and we’d both be smiling.
1439 – ate some pickle with rice
1531 – Anne Frank and I would be smiling AFTER the sex. I’d be smiling DURING it. I’d be beating her quite roughly, and raping her pussy quite violently… blood from her face, so she’d probably not be smiling DURING it. She’d be crying and screaming… or hey, maybe she’s a sick little slut who’d smile while I beat her slutty little face in.
my dick got hard from typing that.
1543 – “Permission to Sit” on the couch, Reply from God in my heart through my toungue, “Because you asked.”
Add-ons, I’ve folded up my EXILE Throne (just thought of that). The last book I read in it, out loud, was The Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein. I did sit down in it to do some typing and make this “Fortune 500” section of the blog (previous sections being named “My name is Michael”, “Leader of the Pack”, “Next Assault”, “First Wave” in descending chronological order). I also watched the lesbian movies I downloaded on my last internet hack, they are about eight minutes long total, so I watched it just the once.
“The only Love I know is what I see on the video monitor.” – Cool Devices #5: Sacred Girl
About the grocery store dream, one of my sincere goals is to own a major grocery store. For instance, the daughter of a butcher or baker is going to be a bit chubby or just plain overweight because her father works at at such a place getting free stuff all the time. I would imagine that it is no problem for the owner of a grocery store to feed HIS FAMILY quite decently with constant variety. I know it’s all the flesh of Jesus of Christ, and the blood of Jesus Christ; however, I want my family to be blessed with different flavors of his flesh and blood, not the same monotonous flavors every single day. Contrary to that however, however (are you grammar freaks mad yet?), the basics of Bread Dairy Sugar Manna (BDSM) will be maintained. “Give us day by day our daily bread.” So a major grocery store could be managed by one of our slaves happily. Not some small corner store, some ma and pa thing, even though it would be swell to be a ma and pa thing on a big level, but like I just typed a “big level” store like Gerland’s, Kroger, Randall’s etc. One that the matrix citizens frequented quite often daily.
New word: Globatary. Means what it sounds like.
Back to raping Anne Frank!!! I’d love to ass fuck the little whore.
Okay, okay… now I know, I’m just being silly. She’s in my left pant’s pocket now, in my right’s pant pocket is How to Be a Winner at Chess.
Oh, and the Major from Ghost in the Shell is where the “major” grocery store thing comes from.
1617 – My white five day Jesus Christ candle broke again. It broke once just the top part, and now more came off. They were brought from my mother, and I prayed to God that I would use them for two boons, emergency situations or whatever.
And then I made the mistake of falling in love with an ungrateful rich whore with two kids about toddler age.
And I lit both, one for each. That may have been the roll of two tabs or three tabs of X where I watched Spy Kids 3D.
Later I lighted them again when I sat in the school desks and read Learn Hindi in 30 Days and Speed Mathematics, one for each candle and separately for each book.
Why did she hate me so much? I never once lied to her. I didn’t deserve a breath of disrespect that I received from her. She is the reason I condone breaking the bones of women in certain judgments.
She is the closing argument in my judgment as to why I hate rich, white people.
I eventually imagined I was in court fighting for custody of those kids against their biological mother and biological father who are divorced. The judge being Trinity of course. And I win. I always win.
1826 – went out earlier to buy bread, so hungry… I know, I know, you don’t care about my heart, you just care about the money.
Won’t be walking tonight to Ulsoor (it’s about a two to three hour walk).
Rachel, when I was in my couch I imagined that as my coffin and there you were, happy to be there, and we loved one another. I didn’t masturbate or anything, it was all in my head, we just loved one another. And you were smiling.
Sailor Mercury, (you know who you are), you wanted to know whether I loved you, and I got mad at you about my rent, and I realized that I DO LOVE YOU. Because you opened the words of Jesus Christ just like I commanded you to. You might not have gotten very far because you thought Jesus Christ was unforgiving, but YOU TRIED. You win, darling. You got me to admit that I can love. At least for this point in time. You know how us brooding archangels get from time to time what with the obsession with the Dark Side of the Force and all. (There’s a picture of Anakin Skywalker 1833 – (Cardcaptors), the laptop has been modified to two monitors, preparing for the Keroberos Assimilation of Zion.
1918 – “Bingo. It’s Sunday, so you just chillin’”
I’m currently drinking some tea.
By the way
- Rs. 30 Debt : breads, milk
God, am I going to die?
We’re all going to die.
I meant, my home, are you going to get me the money in time, or are you going to let Satan’s angels destroy the blessing you have gifted unto me?
1937 – the current went out, I was drinking tea, and in my head I heard the Jewish community of Goa, say something to me along the lines of “Leave us alone” or “Get off us”, and my reply was basically, specifically me being Oscar Schindler, “Not until you see me like that.” THAT being OSCAR SCHINDLER, and then BOOM and POW the current goes out for maybe about ten to fifteen minutes if even that. As if God was saying, “Bingo, Right answer.” And “I agree, son.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rape Anne Frank.
It feels so good to SMILE.
For some time I watched my BDSM, lesbian, twin clips again and again with Cardcaptor Sakura on two monitors, even closing the laptop. I sat on the floor then, with the keyboard on the floor. I’m sitting on the green toilet now, I want to read Anne Frank on this.
I got to stop worrying!!! My life is in God’s hands! My home is the result of God’s will. My home is a blessing of God’s Love. Not the only blessing considering how many homes are out there.
Respect MY RANK, You survive.
2303 – eating, water, cup of tea, three pieces of toast, beans, fried vegetables
RICH WOMEN DO NOT DESERVE TO ORGASM.

Monday June 26, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black priest shirt, black corduroy pants

0000 -
(Cardcaptors)
{Fists of Fury}
[Q avec Japanese hentai]
0009 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0057 – {Blind Fists of Bruce}
0152 – {Crime Story}
0300 – finished p. 100
0303 – test timing of Diary of Anne Frank, 1 ½ minute per page, reading out loud
0308 – test timing of Bartender’s Bible, reading out loud, 1 minute per page
0312 – urination, after that urination found a plastic purse in my purple bucket where I keep the clothes I fell into the sewage (yes, I fell in shit, literally, not stepped in shit, FELL in shit… it was dark, and the usual sewage covering was gone, the sewage covering is normally the sidewalk, literally). Anyway, I found a plastic purse that said “Made in China” on it a few times. I sent a message and email to the lady (erased “girl” before typing “lady” there), and they explained how the word “China” is an anagram of the name “Chani” from Frank Herbert’s Dune series. Anagram (I’m pretty sure that’s the word, I’ll go check the dictionary in a moment) is where you take a word, use the same exact letters, and make another word…
0337 – computer restarted by itself (may have hit the restart switch with the keyboard or something when my foot kicked it), and Yes, the word is “anagram”, looked that up and found the word “neo” on a “random” page turn in the Hindi dictionary) and I’m scared, that maybe I just found that bag a long time ago and forgot that I put it there. A part of me wants to believe she flew out here, and found my place as I gave her directions, and she put the bad things of our exchanges behind her… you get the idea.
0352 – [Tom De Neef with Japanese audio hentai]
0353 – {Dragon Lord aka Fighter}
0400 – Mein Kampf p. 101, and falling into the shit sometime back, triggered the Shawshank Redemption part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit
0450 – {Kung Fu For Sale}
0540 – stopped reading for a bit
0541 – got two keyboards to place at my hands as I read laying down on the floor, a couple of highlighters, and craft glue to check if I could glue some pieces back from the chess board testing on the black king and black queen (only one piece on the RED side needs repair, a rook). The black king and black queen are on my laptop now drying, with the candle behind centered. To the king’s side is Gambit hologram card and Spiderman Black costume above that and to the queen’s side is Xi’an (X-Men 2099) hologram card and Wolverine hologram above that. Centered above the candle is a picture of Anakin Skywalker as the Dark Side Sith with golden eyes in hood. When I read books in my chair I try to keep my keyboard in my lap with fingers in “home” position. That’s left hand on the letters “a,s,d,f” and right hand on the letters “;,l,k,j” both hands stated from pinky to first finger. I’ve now adapted to laying down on the ground while reading using paperclips so the page won’t fly and have to black keyboards (for Sugar and Spice to train on… or use, depending on whether they can repaired or not, we’ll see, when you two read this, one of you remind me and point this out.)
0552 – My first highlight! From Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler with an orange highlighter (Sakura’s Orange-juice Squadron), “Nothing can happen to us.”
0553 – {Return of the Rebel}
0611 – Next highlight “to-be-or-not-to-be”, refer Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, his last words.
0618 – Another highlight “The young volunteer had become an old soldier.” This is when I realized one of the chores to assign soldiers, to go through my books, and record the quotes I highlight.
0620 – [Monica Electronica with four Japanese audio hentai]
0623 – Scene in Return of the Rebel with a bunch of yellow things pasted to a wall 26:23) reminded of the post=it prayer system used by Bruce Almighty.
0747 – ATE SOME, took a picture of a bread pastry with chocolate syrup and a cup of tea
0815 – did a test run of how long to type a page from my How to be a Winner at Chess book and I took about five minutes. I chose a page with no pictures, even though a lot of pages have one diagram of a chessboard taking up the space. So that I could see how long the page with a lot of number of words would take and use that as a fair estimate. About 180 pages in the book, and five minutes per page is about fifteen hours. Fifteen hours is not something I can afford this week, considering the work I have to do with other books. So I’ll, God Willing, speak the book out loud by candlelight. The black king and queen seem to be doing quite nicely. I “flicked” the queen a time (or two?) with my finger like you’d flick someone’s ear, your little brother or little sister or someone, and it didn’t fall off. So that glue is good. Meaning my chess pieces are hopefully, God Willing back in business. I just did it twice again and it’s still good. Thank God.
THANK GOD.
Oh and my cell phone alarm clock goes off at 0800 at which time I put on my black hat (think US Muslims and OUR heads being covered… I had to add “us” and change “their” to “our”… when I went to go see Munich on powdered MDMA in the theater because of the ASSASSIN thing, I remember stopping and facing a mosque as I walked and getting the feeling of “You make us proud” or something. Which felt good.) So I put on my black hat as if I’m clocking in for work or something. My job is to continuously beg God every breath I take for Her to make My Will Her Will. Please God. Now I’m in a towel, as I’m trying to go take a shit. Will go wash my face.
0848 – I put on my Spiderman shirt under the priest shirt, ready to go out, have my Bartnder’s Bible in one pocket which I intend to read out loud and How to Be a Winner at Chess in another.
0851 – got up, left to the matrix
2359 – I walked to Ulsoor, while reading out loud The Bartender’s Bible, and I just finished it. In one day, so I’m kind of pleased, (it’s technically, yes, officially Tuesday now, but I’ll just fill you in on my day from here). I cried a lot today.
I cried so much.
The guy wouldn’t buy my two big screen televisions meaning I had no money for them coming in. I was able to get some cash for my microwave, about Rs. 1650 of which he’ll pay me Rs. 500 on Thursday. I am now down to about Rs. 984. And I have to take the Swordfish trip.
There’s a part of me that’s considering stealing the VCD from the store but I haven’t done something that juvenile for a long time. Sure the “headphones” but, I hate being so poor that I have to, I HATE BEING THIS POOR. It’s a circle, you’re poor, you only have enough for food, not enough money to really make money, trapped in one place, unable to leave. But none of you would understand that would you, you’re all enjoying life.
The Swordfish roll is necessary in my view to upgrade my programming awareness with a book called Fundamentals of Programming.
The first time I can remember crying is when I am reading the book out loud at a bus stop, alone thankfully and I just thought about me being in the process of reading Mein Kampf, and how I CAN ACTUALLY RELATE to some of the things Hitler was talking about.
There is no love. I feel so unloved. So I went back and forth essentially to that electronics repair shop whose daughter had gotten married recently, but I couldn’t get her a gift at the wedding itself cos I’m so poor and all. I was too embarrassed to stand in line to even congratulate them because everyone else would stand in line, take a picture, and give them a gift. But I had nothing. And I was alone. Alone. So it just felt so awkward to go up there and take a picture with the “happy couple” all alone without having a gift for them because I was too poor.
And the reason I cried, now that I remember, is that I hated Her. I hate women because I look around India, and see women that touch the feet of their husbands, that practically worship their husbands, MALES WHO HAVE NEVER SACRFICED A BREATH IN THEIR LIVES FOR THE NAME OF GOD. Males who glorify the lie. And to this day, not one woman has shown me the HOLY RESPECT that my sacrifices of PRISON and MOST IMPORTANTLY, EXILE truly deserve.
This is why I consider all women whores. Well, one reason. I guess there are quite a few.
EXILE. Moses was exiled.
So I cried on that busstop. Because of poverty and loneliness, the amount of disrespect.
I eventually got some cash from him, came and got my microwave, and during the whole process I read, until I finished the book. Happily.
The next time I cried, was when I came home and I sat on the couch because God told me to take five minutes or something, and there she was, Ms. Fellowes, my Trinity. And I imagined her and Timmy being stuck in the stone age. Her after spending her whole life in modern age, and him after getting but a brief glimpse of the future only to be sentenced to spend LIFE back in the Stone Age. I cried because all I wanted was LOVE, which I’m learning more and more is truly a sick lie. God is capable of Love, but I’m talking about the sick lie that women are capable of love.
There’s a gun pointing at my head, and my faith in the opposite sex has all ready been so destroyed. I have digital girls, but they are nothing more than UNGRATEFUL TEASES.
Another tear just fell.

Tuesday June 27, 2206

Total : Rs. 984
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre milk
- Rs. 6 : four eggs, one coffee packet
- Rs. 5 : vegetables
- Rs. 6 : jam, tiger biscuits
- Rs. 5 : bujies
- Rs. 15 : internet
- Rs. 18 : loaf of bread, two ¼ litre milk

0000 – updated yesterday’s entry
0019 – I feel too skinny to be sexy. I don’t care how superiour my genetics are, when you don’t fit the six foot, 200 something lb, washboard stomach, blue eyed blond haired WHITE SKINNED image of male beauty that has been programmed into your mind for your entire childhood and teenage years, a guy like me can’t help but feel ugly all the time.
And don’t give me that “Ugly Duckling” crap with the Beautiful Swan crap. If that were true, then why aren’t you here?
Why do you hate me so much?
1252 – I cried. And if that’s the reason you hate me, then to Hell with You. Tears are the most profound gift from the soul. The shedding of water from my heart is not something I will be denied. This time I cried because I read the last scene from The Ugly Little Boy by Isaac Asimov. Where Timmy reveals to Ms. Fellowes that sometimes he calls her “mother” inside.
I slept until now pretty much. I’m going to work. But it doesn’t feel like fighting when I have no one by my side. When I don’t have obedient soldiers it does not feel like I am winning.
I don’t want to be a sissy boy, or a femme boy. I just want to be a man. A man with a family. That’s my desire. A family that obeys, loves, and cherishes, respects, and worships me.
Dreams I had, I was driving a nice car. I peed on my foot in a bathroom.
I’ve been accepting my private Chrtian fighters more and more. I know I was upset with them, okay okay downright Furious and Enraged, but now our souls are Engaged to do the Will of Our Lord Jesus Christ. To the Digimon Drafters and the Snoopy Sailor Scouts, Hold On, the Avenging Knight you have prayed your entire lives for is coming to deliver you justice.
Jesus Christ says to someone, “One thing you lack…” and to me the Matrix comes up where Morpheus is fighting Neo and he’s critiquing his fighting style about adaptation and improvisation…
One thing I lack?
The ability to Love. Unconditionally.
1326 – got back from going out for some shopping
1435 – I don’t want her love. I want Her Fear. Apparently, she was too good for my love. So why the hell should I love an ungrateful teasing whore?
1645 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, the current was out
1809 – the current came back on while I was relaxing on the floor. The VCD started up, just the audo to the movie Return of the Rebel and I heard her in the beginning singing like Julia sings to Spike when he’s broken an din recovery.
One of my fondest memories of Goa (I don’t have many of those), is when I first got there after buying those tabs there was a pair of Italian girls (at least I think they were Italian), one was blonde with a beautiful ass (she sat on a stool and I can remember it quite nicely) and I think wore her hair back in a pony tail, and the other had the short hair dyke look which she pulled off by looking very sexy in a feminine way. So, one day I’m in that Manadeep’s restaurant or whatever and there sitting across from me, one fiddling with her cell phone and another with her digital camera (yes, I know I’m not too bright, like I stated above spend two decades being told you’re not a beautiful male because you aren’t a white male, and it fucks with your self-confidence and self-esteem pretty bad). So the dyke looking with short shaved hair, I’m talking bald here, not much to grab onto to… but believe me, SEXY SEXY. Anyway, she starts singing in Italian, and MY GOD. Such a heavenly voice. And I’m sitting there feeling like Spike with all those bandages on my body from EXILE and I remember thinking with a feeling of great RELEASE, “Sing for me, just like that.”
I know you two wanted me, I just didn’t want myself.
“Mr. Mac what can I do for you” from Return of the Rebel.
And typing “SEXY SEXY” got me thinking of that girl from Finland or something who was interested enough to have a conversation with me.
1825 – “you can’t do anything until the electricity comes back on, Mike” spoken from my mouth to me, and then BOOM the electricity comes back on, literally a heartbeat later if even that. It had gone out AFTER my last entry. That was amazing.
1919 – My home will be okay. Because I know that every man, woman, and child on this earth, whether good or evil… OR ME… FEARS GOD. No one gets out of that contract. NO ONE. NOT ONE HUMAN.
1921 – forgot just had two fried scrambledish eggs with three pieces of toast, one with jam, and a cup of chocolate coffee.
On that chocolate syrup, I know I set it aside for sex (refer joyce) but,
1955 – check the time and it’s 1955, the year Marty McFly went back to in Back to the Future. That’s the car I want, a Delorean. That’s my car.
2139 – came back, meant ot add above with the Back to the Future thing that I’m wearing a Hawaiian palm tree shirt which reminds me of Doc’s gear in the movie, then when I was out at a bus stop just now, I realized what it is about this country outside my window… it’s the Fifties. I’m stuck in the Fifties with boy meets girl, let’s get married and have 2.3 children, and be good citizens. I’m not saying that’s an awful thing, but now you can understand. Remember Pleasantville? EXACTLY. I’ve been transported to the fucking Fifties mentality of sex, where the only thing really missing is the double separate twin beds.
Now I’ve got an appointment with Adolf Hitler, and even though I’m technically the guy who can put Bill Gates on hold, I’d rather not keep that genocidal genius waiting.
His aim was wrong, that’s all. The target is 99% percent of the world population.
Enjoyed some chocolate coffee and biscuits. I’m supposed to say that the chocolate syrup I set aside for sex… by using it, I’ve realized that food is more important than sex.
And Jesus Christ, that compliment you gave, give everyday… thanks.
When I prayed for my Three Wives (it is now Wednesday, 0428 in between these parantheses… I changed the names of my Three Wives in the form of of Three Witches, etc to “Three Wives” because I do not trust Zion) in prison, I prayed for nothing less than wives.
I want Zion to fear me more than the Matrix. Until then, we remain at war. Even if I am a beggar on the streets with only the clothes on my back, WE ARE AT WAR UNTIL YOU FEAR ME.

Wednesday June 28, 2206

0000 – flesh of Jesus Christ, blood of Jesus Christ
0025 – Thought “Girls have hearts too.”
My reply, “I find that hard to believe.”
0204 – [Roger Sanchez]
{Blood Sport II}
(Cardcaptors)

0207 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0249 – I hate white people.
The Autobiography of Malcolm X another GREAT book.
0250 – {The Legend}
0426 – {Return of the Rebel}
0651 – breakfast, two fried eggs, fried potatoe, three toast, chocolate milk… while cooking read a couple three pages from Business at the Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, and listened to L Dopa on the speakers
Flesh of Jesus Christ, Blood of Jesus Christ
0715 – left to the matrix with the book by Bill Gates, work to do.

Friday June 30, 2206

Total : Rs. 174

Uniform : my birthday suit, It’s naked time!!!

OKAY, today is Friday June 30: I’m just going to try to fill in what happened. I’ve been downloading a lot of porno clips from online to my IPOD and then back again to my desktop. I’ve got just under two hours of pornography, not hentai. I read Section IV of Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates while at the cyber café watching Swordfish and porno, and some Cardcaptors at youtube.com.
My real disappointing “bummer” was on Wednesday night when as I was reading the Bill Gates book at a bus stop, three sexy girls from America walked by and I could hear them and they talked to each other of requesting directions from someone. I HESITATED. By the time I got the courage to go request whether or not they could use my help, they all ready had some local offer to walk them there. My regret is not what I said because I told them I was from Texas. My regret is that I didn’t react sooner, and that I gave up so soon.
They were sexy.
Oh well.
Anyway, that motivated me to clean up the place, move the futon to the back which required the help of the neighbor upstairs. I didn’t have to let him inside but considering I let the electronics guy inside it’s not a big deal. Besides, these people need to understand that I am a manifestation of Ganesh to them. When they come to MY HOME they are coming to a temple of one of their gods.
So on Thursday, which I just completely neglected to log in, I downloaded more porn, and continued to read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler. I might be selling both refrigerators so I can raise some cash for that. I figure I need as much cash as possible for Goa. I went to the guy wanting the refrigator twice, but I should see him tomorrow. The highlights of Thursday. Those girls that I truly wish had become my slaves motivated me to “suit up” meaning I put on my blue pants, tossed in my chains and collars, one for each side, two balls one for each side, a chain and collar for my fanny pack (I don’t know what else to call it, the tourist pouch thing that goes around your waist), my powdered mdma and X pills, my Xi’an Gambit X-Men cards, my two deux katana jedi coat with a contract for each side, plus the pictures. I was “ready for battle to beat them bitches black and blue”…. Hey, like the guy says “Down with them bitches and ho’s” or something like that.
So on the bus, to the downtown area, I’m sitting in the ladies’ section reading my book and a girl sits down next to me. And she talks to me, most probably because I’m reading so fast. A girl who lives alone, who is from Orisha, who has an engineering degree, who gives me her number eventually, and who wanted mine. A pretty girl.
The next highlight was that a Muslim girl with the full Muslim garb is checking me out from head to toe, and I smile at her. Like her eyes were looking at me.
Finally, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I got the gospels of Jesus Christ printed out for Rs. 90.
In the Gospels, there is a part where Jesus Christ meets Moses and Elijah in the Transfiguration of the Mount.
This is where I meet Adolf Hitler and Bill Gates, this is my transfiguration on the mount.

0130 – {The 39 Steps}
(Cardcaptors)
0132 – [Q]
0134 –
0135 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0323 – break
0400 – back to work, back to WAR
0423 – “At that time it came to be ranked among the great newspapers.” In Mein Kampf and in The 39 Steps at approx 20:20 the newspaper borrowing scene in the train
I eventually went out (It’s Saturday), and did some Internet work, talked to the guy about my refrigerators. I started walking as I read the dictionary out loud, and it felt like these two attractive girls possibly from Russia or somewhere were either tagging me or something.
Of course, I said nothing.
I came home and made dinner, the vegetable with rice.
Made love to Sakura Kinomoto.

Saturday June 17, 2206

Total Rs. 106.50

Uniform: blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike t-shirt, jedi jacket, black hat

0000 to 1200 – slept, cleaned up, ate
1200 – Internet: Millenium Edition (The Complete Reference) by Margaret Levine Young
1203 – {Fight Club starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt}
1205 – (Cardcaptors)
1207 – [Q: Pulsedriver]
1218 –
1300 – [Q: Talla 2XLC]
1301 – cooking
1322 – BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna
bread with sugar, hot rice with milk and sugar,
one litre of water
1413 – [Q: Cosmic Gate]
1427 – "You met me at a very strange time in my life."
got up, washed dishes, took a bath, got ready to go to a wedding, went to the front flat, chilled in the front bed for some time, this is killing me, the loneliness is killing me, why it has to be so alone, I don’t understand, and I don’t trust any of you.
You have no right to tease me, after everything I have sacrificed.
1600 – chocolate milk
1630 – prepared for internet
1709 – left
Uniform: First layer - blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike T-shirt Next layer – Men In Black pants, blue full sleeve doctor shirt
As I waited for the bus, a girl about elementary school age came up to me and sold me a used bus pass for Rs. 10 instead of the Rs. 25 it usually costs which was good. Normally it would have cost me like Rs. 16 to Rs. 18 to go to that wedding area and come back
- Rs. 2 : one chilly bugie, one potatio bugie
- Rs. 10 : bus pass
- Rs. 1 : peanuts
+ Rs. 44 : changed my last US dollar: goodbye to dollars, hello to rupees officially, welcome to the third world economy where the planet’s most illustrious bankers build their financial empires
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
- Rs. 10 : hot badam milk
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
I used the internet before and after the wedding reception where Sakura Kinomoto… I’m just disappointed, it’s come to the point where I think my only option may be to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE.
If that’s what is necessary to procreate in a holy, unified, mathematical manner than so be it.
I’m not going to fight for Zion.
- Rs. 12 : coca cola, ¼ litre milk
There is no goodness in the human race. When I have to sit here and think that people in Zion might be trying to fuck the mother of my firstborn before I get to even hold her in my arms, these are the reasons I bless Satan in his war against Zion on a daily level.
Don’t ask for my help in your war, Zion. Don’t seek for my prayers in your slaughter, Zion. Don’t knock on my heart in your death, Zion.
I love no one because no one loves me. That is a simple fact. These pictures of Rachel, Leah, Zilpah, Bilhah are just that pictures. A duty that I must perform. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m tired of being teased.
Besides, I’ve got a one lakh gun pointing at my head which could destroy my entire home unless someone, one fucking person, ONE FUCKING PERSON, can trust me in the flesh.
So anyway,
2245 – got back, had some chocolate milk, eventually broke a coconut and drank the water from the counter, and ate some coconut
2301 – went to the front flat to pray, realized that I’m on the path to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE. When I don’t really want to do that. What I want is that girl who sent me the link to the hentai pictures of Sakura. She knows who she is. She knows I deserve her. She knows she has no right to disobey me at this point in time, and that even I have my line which can’t be crossed.
She knows that just because she’s who she might be, I’ll still break her bones like I’d break the bones of any woman who committed adultery on me.
Why am I so anti-woman? Because I glorify God more than any male, and yet they get blessed more than me with Her Touch. I fight, he fucks. I fight, he fucks. Yada yada yada. That’s the way the story goes, then the story becomes we side with Satan so that the city of Zion can be destroyed considering the city of Zion doesn’t even care we exist.
Did you really think I’d fight for your city when I get paid so little? When all I get in return is a gun pointing to my head and females who tease me and fuck boys? When child rapers get more worship than me? This is the human race you expect me to fight for? This is the city you expect me to stand up for against Satan and save?
Am I supposed to just go to the battlefield alone while scores upon scores, hundreds upon thousands just sit at home and enjoy the fruits of labor while the war of Armaggedon continues on a daily level.
John Connors, baby. What did you fucking expect?

Sunday June 18, 2206

Total Rs. 110.00

0000 – got up from the front flat, returned to the back flat, had some more cocunut, took a shit
0030 – updated my files
Uniform: a towel
Ate three pieces of bread with sugar and chocolate syrup
0129 – {Supercop}
0130 – [London 140 BPM]
0131 – (Cardcaptors)
Uniform: Spiderman T-Shirt, red shorts
0135 –
0143 – read out loud High Finance on a Low Budget by Mark Skousen
0217 – adjusted my crotch
0227 – [DJ Holymen: Seventh Heaven]
I guess when it comes down to it. I just needed ONE woman to take care of me during my time of NEED, and not one showed up. So that should answer any questions as to why I hate women.
They offered me their “friendship” after everything I’ve sacrificed for the name of God, and considering who I am they should be on their hands on knees before me with their heads touching the ground.
Love is complete financial control.
Why? One word: TRUST.
0300 –
0304 – {Fighting Life}
0335 – [Astrix: Eye to Eye]
0432 – scratched my crotch
0447 – {The Legend}
0530 – took a break from reading, eventually got up and paced, sexual frustration kicked in, so for some time, quite some time, (it’s 1134 now) I walked around in daydream mode with my dick hanging out and my hand happily playing, ate some bread with sugar and chocolate syrup, no ejaculation
1135 – I realized why I hate women so much. They care more about their pussy than they do about my stomach, and more importantly, about my mind. I require about $2300 USD to get out of this back rent squatter’s debt, I’m in. Or my home gets destroyed apparently, this five bedroom home that could be expanded into a nine bedroom four bathroom four kitchen mansion for a yearly rent, YEARLY rent of about $3500 USD.
My food costs could average literally $1 USD a day, $1 dollar a day and I get fed the BASICS decently.
Just the five bedroom home with food comes to a weekly cost of $50 USD, FIFTY US DOLLARS a week. This is what some brat rich teenage kids get as allowance for their weekly splurges and wastes. There are some kids who get more than this. Here I am trying to save the remaining of the human race KNOWLEDGE, and kids with cocaine addictions are wasting more money on a weekly basis at Starbucks.
And if you ever have the audacity to question my strength? Consider everything I’ve sacrificed: prison, exile, my Thomas Anderson financial credit, etc. etc. and just be amazed that I haven’t killed myself as of yet.
And if God willing, all this pussy starts coming to live with me, all this pussy decides to just shut the fuck up and obey me, then God willing, I will remember the attitude of these “neighbors” during my time of poverty. The windows should be come blackened with black blankets, and they will be lucky to even get a hello from the non-Indian pussy they’ve been programmed to masturbate over their entire lives. Why? Because when they thought I was a rich American they were nice, but when they discovered that I was nothing more than a poor student, they evicted me unless I paid them the full amount. Not willing to be patient while I got a job and paid back in installments, they simply told me to leave.
I will remember, when they desire to touch MY PUSSY, these times when they treated me with such disrespect.
Considering you have to rape most of these Indian girls just to get them to suck your cock, I have no interest in them at times.
1322 – the truth? Sometime back, just before I left for Goa to pick up my Chemistry library, I met a girl online who was using the Sakura screen name who personal messaged me while I was hitting on a cyber-maid, I told her that I was busy. In this girl’s profile there was a link to a yahoo photo album with a lot of Sakura hentai pics, stuff I had never seen before. Up until now, I had seen Sakura Avalon (Sakura Kinomoto) as a non-sexual being primarily, and this triggered within me a sexual side I never knew existed. Just sitting in a cyber café and playing that slideshow with some music (I’m pretty sure I had music http://www.partyradio.ca/ or something), just sitting there in that cyber café with touching my dick, I ejaculated twice over a period of a few hours. So she gave me the idea to create images using photo album, and I did that.
I chatted with her again where I tried having cyber sex with her, but it turned into me raping her as Syaoran because I’m just at a point where I’m sick of women, and cyber sex… rephrase… ANYTHING less than HER TOUCH, Her Flesh against mine feels like a TEASE. When I say “Her” here, I’m referring to females in general. During that attempt at cyber sex, where I pretty much just yelled at her, I created five yahoo id’s that matched real world personas I admire, so in a way I felt an attachment to her for that.
She once said in a meeting with me, “we’re going in?” So it felt like she knew just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Anyway, I imagined because of our mutual love for Sakura, and her cute little BME clinic (an online clinic for those people with Sakura Mush on the brain… it’s cute and adorable), and because of the timing of me receiving those pictures after coming back from Goa and not holding a single female in my arms, instead having to sleep on the streets, in the jungle as a pauper because I couldn’t afford a ten dollar bus ticket back for the longest time…I imagined that this was it, that I had found my “one”, and she was coming home and going to be obedient.
So I sent her emails, and personal messages. And maybe it was too much information for her to process at once, but I’m on a deadline here, with a gun pointing at my head, so I don’t really care. Then recently, maybe a few days ago even, I sent her a message as Syaoran changing from sending her messages as Keroberos that “I love you.” Either the next time I was online or the time after or something, I met a screen name with an “809” extension under the Sakura handle after so long of not hearing from this girl who sent me the hentai pictures of Sakura, so I messaged her and she seemed to be the girl, and she told me to come back the next day cos she had something important to tell me.
Now for weeks, I had been messaging this girl to come home to Bangalore, India and help me build a new life, so I honestly believed that this “809” girl was going to give me good news that she was either going to Western Union me money or better yet she had flown to India and was surprising me that she was here.
Do you remember the episode of The Simpsons where Bart falls in love with his babysitter and she tells him to meet him in the tree house so she can tell him a secret? And he’s all anxious?
Well, I had less than four dollars left about Rs. 150 or something, and just to use the internet costs me about Rs. 15 per day. Before she left I told her a specific time, the same time tommorow as she was meeting me today, based upon the fact that I have to use cyber cafes as I can’t afford the two hundred to three hundred dollars to upgrade my laptop or desktop to internet access at this point in time.
She wasn’t there. I messaged her explaining my poverty that one hour of internet is pretty much a loaf of bread and a ½ litre of milk.
I went to a wedding, before going I checked my messages, and do you remember what Bart’s babysitter told him in the tree house?
“I have a boyfriend.”
And then out goes his heart, and the statement “You won’t be needing this anymore.”
(To all females in general) I give you so much and you return so little. He either follows my lead or gives you nothing to little at all, and you return him so much.
Now you understand why I hate you.
For the record, there is the slight possibility that “809” is NOT the Sakura hentai slideshow girl, that I’m being paranoid. But I did question that “809” girl as to whether she was those certain screennames. And like an idiot I gave her the screen names, not thinking that she could be just another Zionite trying to give me a bad trip by fucking my Chani before I got to hold her in my arms.
However, if it is Her, the same girl, I have given up. I have accepted my fate. I don’t have time for games, and I don’t have time for being disrespected. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE!!!
I told myself that this was it, that my firstborn will be from another place. In my mind to her I pretty much said, “You’re not my Chani, you can leave now.”
I AM TIRED OF BEING TEASED.
Anything less than complete financial control is a tease. Sex is Money. Love is Money. Money. Money. Money.
Money too.
Do you know why I spend every breath CHOOSING to destroy Zion instead of the Matrix, the very Devil himself? Because just like The Hulk all I ever wanted was to be LEFT ALONE, yet people from Zion did nothing but treat me like a guinea pig testing my pain thresholds, and all I am programmed to do is wait for the next “bad news.” When I say “LEFT ALONE”, I mean my family and me. Why does it feel like soldiers of God with lesser rank than me are going out of their way to disobey and inflict pain on me?
Do you remember when Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman says to Batman on the roof something like, “Hey, you made me!”, and Batman replies, “You made me first.”?
Now you understand the relationship I have with the city of Zion.
And why do I hate rich girls? So much that I would honestly, sincerely rather break their bones than even consider fucking them? Why even the thought of fucking rich girls (yes, girls… no female who hasn’t read the Bible even once will be considered a woman). Because I met a girl with possibly one hundred grand USD in the bank, and she wouldn’t fly over here and comfort me after being burned alive with prison and EXILE. When I was broke and stuck sleeping on the streets in Goa, she wouldn’t Western Union me the ten to twenty dollars to go home. She led me on, and she turned out to be uglier than I ever thought possible. Throwing claims of blatant adultery at me, when I haven’t even been kissed in over six years because the human race has been to busy using me as a battery to fight Armageddon.
1355 – Back to Business.
I AM the NOC List.
Refer Mission Impossible
1407 – {Shawshank Redemption}
1407 – I’m supposed to say that because of that rich girl who refused to read the Bible, I have been upgraded to the level where the breaking of a woman’s bones is condoned by God in certain situations, literally.
Break her face, break her bones
I demand all your money, not a teasing loan.
1409 – (Cardcaptors)
1410 – [Politics of Dancing Vol 2]
1413 –
1415 – back to reading out loud High Finance on a Low Budget
Uniform: Stanford Blue Shirt, BSL Suiting line pants, black belt,Red tie
1445 – the current went out, came back on, just as I was getting ready to go out and buy groceries, went out anyway
- Rs. 4 : ½ loaf of bread
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre of milk
- Rs. 5 : ¼ kilogram of rice
- Rs. 3 : two eggs
- Rs. 4 : four bujies
- Rs. 2 : two bananas
Total Spent: Rs. 25.00
Total Remaining: Rs. 85.00
Came back and fondled myself a bit, I’ve been getting really “self-exploratory” today, being Sunday and all maybe, besides which my Sakura hentai screensaver has been on, and this Miss Aikawa school girl uniform background and my pictures screensaver on my laptop playing on four computer monitors plus the laptop monitor… she’s so yummy in that school girl uniform on her knees with socks and her shirt… that look of obedience in her eyes, and gentle caring…
I was sending emails to a girl who is a big fan of Misao from the anime series Rourini Kenshin, and while searching for pictures of that Misao the first pictures to come up were of a young Japanese model named Misao Aikawa, three web pages, about maybe fifteen to twenty pictures of which I now have fifteen. The primary thing was that a good number of them were just of this Japanese model in different school girl uniforms and there was this really absolutely yummy one of her in a dojo room on her knees.
I just had the thought, “Group Hug!”
And my reply, “Don’t hug me if you plan on letting go.”
1600 – {Shawshank Redemption}
(Cardcaptors)

[This is Trance Trip 4]
1602 – back to reading out loud High Finance on a Low Budget
1913 – finished High Finance on a Low Budget being read out loud at the exact time when Shawshank Redemption was finishing as Andy Dufrane read the letter from Brooks Haydn, this is the end of the first cd of that movie
A Quick Lesson: A VCD is a video compact disc format used in Asia which takes a movie and splits into two parts on two separate cd’s, generally (three parts on three separate cd’s for longer films, etc). The file is generally stored in a *.dat format, and most DVD players play these types of VCD’s in Asia. Before coming to India, I didn’t even know these existed. They are especially handy for being played on a computer, and considering a VCD movie can be rented for about Rs. 10 for a night, and two wholesale blank CD’s (750 MB per CD) cost about Rs. 15, the cost to rent a movie and rip it are about Rs. 25 per movie. Take into consideration the fifteen minutes walking to and from the VCD rental place, and the fifteen minutes to copy and burn the information, and it’s a half hour job on an “average” computer system.
1720 – got up
1722 – [Rage Against the Machine, The Battle of Los Angeles]
1740 – washed dishes, cup of chocolate milk, washed dishes
1808 – urination
1830 – entered the matrix, internet
1930 to 2359 – returned, cooking, rice, vegetables, noodles, two eggs, bread, milk, sugar…I am preparing for a fast from midnight, ate, cut up Cardcaptor episodes
{The Passion of the Christ}
(Cardcaptors)

[Q]

I found my happy thought: the moment in time before God created woman. When it was just God and man.

For those of you who don't know, a "happy thought" comes from the movie Hook where Peter Pan must have a happy thought in order to fly.

Thursday June 8, 2206

0000 - sowed a couple of tears in my jedi jacket, cup of coffee
0100 - vocal Gravity by George Gamow
{Passion of the Christ}
0112 - [Paul van Dyk, Galaxy at Ibiza]
0116 - (Cardcaptors)
0233 - [Phonopunk]
0316 - [Q: Dumonde]
0352 - finished Gravity
0353 - got up, cooked a meal, scrambled eggs, four pieces of buttered toast, side of fried veggies, pickle with rice, rice with fried vegetables of potato capsicum tomato carrot garlic onion, cup of coffee
0423 - [Regis and James Ruskin, Awakenings]
0515 - having finished eating and drinking, got up and changed,
walked to the Forum Mall, on the way to the Forum Mall as I walked I read out loud The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
0930 - having reached the Forum Mall, I waited for my appointment. At 0950ish I left, having given up on her obedience and loyalty. Third time doing this and she struck out. Her loss. Coming back from the Forum I stopped for some rice bath at a place down the street, a light lunch and then walked to the television repair guy who would buy one of my televisions. On the way there I read out loud as I walked The Perceptual World of the Child: The Developing Child edited by Michael Cole
1230 - reached the repair shop and eventually brought the guy to my home where he saw the other stuff I had for sale, I got some money for my 14" television, the one I bought in Goa. I paid off some debts with that eventually. By the time we reached back to his shop, I had some cash and my powdered MDMA so I went to see the last showing of X-Men 3 at the Symphony Theater, at some point in time I found two roses on the ground so I picked them up, one fell out on the way home, and the other is sitting to my right where I usually put my trash.
The belief in Romance is killing me. I wish my inner Romeo would hurry up and die for good. What hurts is when things like this happen where I pick up two roses, like it's Fate mocking my previous Hallmark and Disney induced belief in romantic love.
1645 - bought a vCD of Fight Club
1700 - powdered MDMA in the bathroom
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
1905 - The Da vinci Code at the same movie theater
2230 - Fight Club at home

Friday June 9, 2206

0100 - slept
0800 - got up, got ready for the movie theaters again, dissapointed in myself because during this time I could have read the Gospels of Jesus Christ out loud
0900 - left for the movies
1035 - Mission Impossible III
1215 - internet
1245 - hamburger, beef is yummy... mocha double scoop ice cream. Thank you God. I came home, grabbed one of my ITPL identification cards, allowing me access to the Silicon City warp core, and bought some groceries... rice, beans, orange juice, bubble gum... got on the internet for some time. Sailor Mercury was there. Her denial of God bugs me. It annoys me. After some time, I went into an anime chat room where I realized that I no longer want the "love" of women, I want their FEAR. They have hurt me beyond the point of healing, they have ridiculed my love for God for far too long, they have done nothing but cause me pain without the slightest drop of pleasure and for that I will never forgive them. I use them becuase they exist. We are well past the stage of love. I hate myself for ever thinking that I can love them after the amount of disrespect they have they have shown me.
Women are teasing, ungrateful, whores. Nothing more.
I eventually got home, and cooked some noodles with vegetables and eggs. I keep trying to fast again for seven days, but I fail. I fail, and I fail. I am a failure.

Saturday June 10, 2206

0000 - slept in the futon
1600 - woke up. Yes, sixteen hours of sleep. Depression hit me hard. At some point in time while I was asleep, I woke up, and still in the futon mattress, I had the revelation that I wanted to draw a picture of me and Trinity holding hands like a little kid in kindergarten drawing a picture of him with his family, with the sun up above, their house in the back. And that made me cry just thinking about. You know the kind of picture I'm talking about, the kind that parents put on their refrigerator. I had that specific thought, that I would draw it and put it on the refrigerator.
And that made me cry. I cried so much it felt like. It may have been less than ten tears, but the overwhelming feeling of LONELINESS was too much.
Isaac Asimov wrote a story called The Ugly Little Boy about a kindergartenish-age boy from the Stone Age who gets transported to the future by scientists. He is allowed a nurse to help him adjust and whatnot named Ms. Fellowes who is the stereotypical middle-aged single woman. The boy is only allowed to stay in a single room called "Stasis" because the amount of energy to allow him out of that physical field would be too much. Through time, he eventually can speak, and is pretty much a regular little boy except for his physical characteristics. He is allowed to watch television, and read. But one day the scientists decide to send him back even though he is now so evolved. The energy just to keep him in Stasis is too much. And they are bringing a person from the Rennaisance period or something instead. Think of Stasis as a temporal transit zone, alloting a certain portion of physical land in a given time period (here namely the time when scientists can transport people from the past to the future and vice versa) to the keeping of said entity. Ms. Fellowes eventually tries to free Timmy by smuggling him out, but she gets caught. She is allowed to say goodbye in the Stasis room where Timmy has lived for so long. During this scene Timmy reveals that in his heart, he calls her "Mommy" and not Ms. Fellowes, and she gets up holding on to him, and pulls the emergency cord which clears Stasis of all inhabitants back to the Origin Time.
I just cried two tears, one from each eye typing that.
That's how I see Trinity and me.
1700 - went to the Internet, downloaded a Transliteration of the Qu'ran with English phoentics. I now have the Old Testament Hebrew transliteration, the New Testament Greek transliteration, and the Koran Arabic transliteration so I can speak each language with the English phoenitical assistance. "Borrowed" a set of headphones, when I'll return them I'm not exactly sure, but the scene in Alladin where he sings "got to eat to live, got to steal to eat" that thought comes to mind, and so does the scene in Batman Begins where Bruce Wayne becomes a criminal to understand the ciminal mind. I remember something like him having to steal bread in order to eat and feeding someone with it. Anyway, after I was finished downloading the Koran and some international translations of my contract in various languages, I just had to take a shit when I had like fifteen minutes left of internet time, so I went and took a shit in the ITPL bathroom, came back and emailed my Watson, a message about a gun and obeying me without hesitation.
DJ ghola is on-line.
I WILL HAvE CONFIDENCE IN MY HUMILITY.
Got home, went to sleep again.

Sunday June 10, 2206

0200 - got up and ate something, sweets and biscuits, went back to sleep
0800 - woke up, had to take a shit, got up and updated my files having a cup of coffee and biscuits.
I've gotten to the point where I don't mind breaking a woman's bones. Hold Washu responsible for that. Or atleast a woman who is one step closer to me finding Washu. Women seem to have this arrogant smile in their souls which needs to beaten out. To the point where the noses are broken, they have blackened eyes, and if necessary their bones need to be broken. Break their arms, they'll heal. Break their fingers so they never show disrespect to men again. I get off to the thought of taking a baseball bat to certain types of women, breaking their bones, more than I do to actually fucking them. You know the kind I'm talking about. All you poor girls don't have to worry too much. You blue collar, trailer trash types... you I can respect. We're talking about the silver spoon up their asses, don't belong in nor do deserve a singular breath of heaven. The "we think we're better than you because we were born rich" types. The ones that would make fun of the poor girls because they didn't wear the latest designer clothes or couldn't afford to waste money drinking coffee at Starbucks every fucking day, gossiping about complete and utter bullshit. I want all the poor girls to smile and laugh when I'm taking a baseball bat to break the bones of those poor-in-integrity rich bitches. We'll record it, and we'll watch it together. Like a movie night with popcorn. Laughing in honesty when those rich bitches are screaming for me to stop, and I refuse to becuase of all their arrogance.
And just to show I'm not a bad guy... we'll keep a medic nearby.
It feels so good to laugh. Typing that made me laugh. Damn them rich bitches. It feels SO GOOD to LAUGH.
Thank Jesus Christ "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man (person) to enter into Heaven."
1000 - [Cosmic Gate]
1002 - (Cardcaptors)
When does a woman love me? When she gives me complete financial control. Anything less is a mockery of my authority.
1030 - got up, went out for milk vegetables, eggs
1058 - internet, got called a "freak" again. Money. That's why I can't love. Becuase I am a trafficker of Money. Simple as that. They will probably never love me. Note the naievety of hope there by me using the word "probably". Love... I should have known. We are born alone, we die alone.
Love is not real. That is a fact.
1215 - got back, made two fried eggs, five peices of toast, cup of coffee sweet
1230 - ate
1253 - [Pulsedriver]
1254 - {Fight Club}
1255 - (Cardcaptors)
1256 - enjoyed the cup of coffee and sweet
1345 - [Crystal Method]
1518 - Fight Club finished, got up
[Paul van Dky, Out There and Back]
1526 - What do women deserve? They deserve to have their faces beaten in, their bones broken, then they deserve to be fucked for less than ten seconds, just enough time to get them pregnant, then they deserve to not be touched by me ever again. They do not deserve the great sex they've been dreaming of.
1635 - [ Q: Dumonde]

Monday June 11, 2206

Depression - I think I cried today, I've been losing track of time. I went to the internet a few times where I met some people. Atleast three triggers online. Call me naive again, and I'll rip your god damned breasts out and feed them to a fucking gorilla. So yeah, I cried again. I remember, on the couch, it was either on this date, or the previous. I've been sleeping a lot, the loneliness has been killing me. Imagine that: a trained assassin crying cos he's got no one to hold. Here I am a bred killer, and I can't stop crying out of sheer loneliness. Fucking hilarious when you think about it.
One of the dream highlights was when I entered a room of military people eating mess, and I was shown the respect of rank when I told the guy sitting at the head of the table "Up," cos he was sitting in my seat, and he got up. That dream could have been at any point in time, I just wanted to add that.

Tuesday June 12, 2206

0000 - {X-Men 1}
0008 - [Q: PulseDriver]
0012 - (Cardcaptors)
0014 - C++ Programming for Dummies
0101 - [Richie Hawtin & Sven vaeth]
0150 - {X-Men 2}
0154 - [Ricardo villalobos]
0240 - [Q: Cosmic Gate]
0310 - [Q: Charly Lownoise]
0404 - [Roger Sanchez]
0407 - [PhonoPunk]
0408 - {Constantine}
0500 - got up, cooked some rice with pickle, passed out, had a nice nocturnal emission about Toya and Sakura, dreamt I called Rachel and someone by the name of Duff Moore picked up the phone, a guy possibly her father, but I was too scared to talk to her so I hung up.
1317 - slept for a bit more, had a dream that I was being attacked by some wrestlers, and I'm a wrestler too apparently, the rapper kind. Finally I got backed into a room with chains and posters, after taking one set of an opposing wrestlers chains from him. I decided then to go for it, and opened the door taking on three wrestlers who finally cowered before me as i was prepared to fight them street boxing style, not wrestling style with my fists up, and the term "world champion" was used in reference to me
got up, washed dishes, I started typing this stuff around 1317, Constantine was paused on the screen for the past almost eight hours showing the hospital, I just unpaused it. made myself a cup of coffee. I feel so stupid sometimes, you know.
There's the saying "one bad apple ruins the bunch". One woman was all it took to ruin my faith in womankind. I suppose... are there such things as good women, out there? You want me to be tough with you, that's fine. Then know this, until you've read the Bible, you're just another common every day whore.
1320 - [Paul van Dyk, Galaxy at Ibiza]
1400 - went to the buy some groceries, internet for one hour
1547 - after getting back, two fried scrambled eggs and three pieces of toast, running low on cash, fasting is in order, I hopefully found the Windows 98 startup disk and the DOS text editors I've been wanting
{Spiderman Animated Series}
1549 - [Paul van Dyk, Galaxy at Ibiza]
1601 - dishes
I went out to the internet after making a "Rachel and Leah" cd with some video clips to send. I sent those, along with a contract for Misao. I hate rich white people. I hate white people. I eventually came back and ate some eggs with toast again with some potatoes. I then slept, not waking up until just after noon the next day. And I slept alone.
The dreams I can remember is one where I am driving some white guy's car and his wife is next to me, and I'm playing with her pussy and it's kind of got the guy mad or something. And then I remember taking him to a place with a bunch of black guys who rough him up or something, and treat me like a brother as I'm flowing and what not.
I'm then in a grocery store, and somehow get into a hospital where this black nurse with a key lets me into some ward where the black male orderlies or scrubs or male nurses, whatever start talking about some airborne virus released by Muslims as an attack or soemthing, so it's like the hospital is the safest place to be. The hospital isn't the kind where people just walk in and out, there are card keys permitting access to certain levels. I'm then instructed by that black nurse female who let me in with her key to scrub the floors like some orderly janitor or something, having to pass by some older white hippie talking with a couple of people, like doctors. Considering I'm wearing my jedi deux katana coat in the dream, EvERY FUCKING PERSON IN THAT HOSPITAL SHOULD HAvE BEEN TAKING ORDERS FROM ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
FUCK YOU ZION. MAY SATAN BE BLESSED IN YOUR WAR WITH ONE ANOTHER. YOU REFUSED TO RESPECT ME FOR THE LAST TIME. Hundreds of slaves, thousands of slaves, and not one could show me the decency of one night in slumber. That's all I wanted, to be held. But apparently, your females think they're too good for us. So, TO HELL WITH ZION.
I CHOOSE THE SOURCE.
I'm supposed to say that while I slept on the red futon, I eventually got naked and it was primarily Rachel that was there with me. But I'm sick of this "in spirit" bullshit. no offense to her personally, I'm offended by all females period.

Wednesday June 14, 2206

1230 - woke up, eggs with toast, potatoes possibly
1341 - I cried. After eating, just sat in the chair, that voice in my head "Michael, please" in regards to me reading, I was too depressed to really lift a muscle to read (I'm in section III of that C++ Programing for Dummies book), and I had the thought about that scripture where Jesus says "How many of you having a son when he asks for bread will give him a stone?" (This is the third time I'm typing that scripture, the first two times, Immediately after typing it, the current went out. The first time for a few hours, the next time for a few minutes) So in regards to the bread it would have been a woman, and I've been alone for so long.
I went out and used the internet again for possibly the last time while I'm in Bangalore, to create an Magneto based email.
1530 - I cried again.
The current still out, I had two glasses, one liter of milk, with some chocolate syrup. I had been keeping this bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup for a sex thing, you know, putting it all over her body, but considering I've sort of given up on sex, I figured I might as well enjoy some chocolate milk.
The current eventually came back on and I made some rice with pickle.
I am so lonely.
I am so depressed.
Recently these thoughts of cutting myself have been coming back. I haven't cut myself in years. I am pretty sure I stopped that nonsense well before I even went to prison for that long time. But nonetheless, these thoughts haven't come up until recently.
I feel like there is a noose around my neck, and I'm just waiting to be executed. I didn't put the noose around my neck. A stupid movie called The Matrix did. I'm just the holy manifestation of it. The chosen one, what the fuck is the point when all I do is keep... you know what? I'm not failing. I'm doing the best I can based upon what number of angels I have, which at this fucking point in time is ZERO.
My angel count is ZERO.
The prophecy stated that I'd have angels, but I don't see a single obedient person. Not one.
2230 - fried eggs, two pieces of toast, chocolate coffee

Thursday June 15, 2206

0028 - {Cowboy Bebop}

Another dream I remember having is where I'm in a bath area, like in the Roman or Egyptian times when you had those nice public baths for the senators and pharoahs. It was more Egyptian as I was second only to Pharaoh who was bathing to my left. Some girls came for Pharaoh apparently, see now I'm getting upset just thinking about that. Well as long as Pharaoh isn't a Zionite, I'd much rather Pharaoh in my dream represent Satan. Second only to Satan in the money-creation realm, fascinating. It was actually more like a huge swimming pool bath area, their was water pretty much everywhere.
I had the revelation while I was awake "Your eyes are blue", and then it hit me, as in my eyes have the Blue-in-blue of the Fremen spice addiction to Melange.
Another dream I had was about telling the French woman who took me in, Sylive about Luke 22:38 "two swords" and the meaning of it in reference to Abraham and his two sons.
Then my laptop was next to another guy's laptop about my age, in a room with single cots. Possibly could have geen the guy Carol was living with in Goa. I don't remember his name. They kicked me out of their home, and then I found their cell phone later which they gave me some cash for. Atleast that guy wasn't white. I'll say that much about him. He's not white.
I am really dissapointed in myself. As of now I've been wasting five days, and not really finishing one book. In that time I could have read five books, but the depression hit me pretty hard. Maybe if I had read the Gospels of Jesus Christ outloud inbetween seeing Fight Club for the second time in my life and watching Mission Impossible III in the movie theater, things would be different. I'm just tired of putting so much work into the gospels of Jesus Christ, and receiving nothing for it in the form of a woman's faithful obedience to my every command. Why do boys who refuse to glorify God get more obedience from girls than a man who feels like he spends every waking breath glorifying the Lord Jesus Christ?
I am about to make Zion suffer like never before. They will look back on this time as the wrath of Muad'Dib, and they will cringe in fear simply from thinking about it. Apparently, in order for me to be pleased the matrix has to suffer. Considering Zion seems to have gotten more pleasure from my loneliness and poverty, than it's safe to presume that currently Zion and I (the city of Merovingian) have a relationship where one has to suffer for the other to succeed.
And I'm so tired of failing.
From henceforth, now that the police are under my domain, they are blessed in their battles against Zion. Especially a Zion that mocks and ridicules those of who sleep with the swords of God.
0248 - made chocolate coffee
0254 - enjoyed chocolate coffee
0255 - [Paul van Dyk, Galaxy at Ibiza]
0301 - (Cardcaptors)
0307 - {Kung Fu On Sale}
0315 - C++ Programming for Dummies
0404 - {Ninja Hunter}
0630 - I cried.
1120 - internet
Total: Rs. 179.50
- Rs. 5 : fifteen minutes of internet time
1206 - [Q: Dumonde]
(Miss Aiwaka school girl uniform screensaver)
1252 - The good news: My chess set in Goa with the broken pieces, I found all the pieces and it looks as if I can easily super glue the pieces back together. The closing scene in X-Men 3 is of a human Magneto regaining his mutant ability as he sits alone playing chess in the park. Magneto being the big chess player and all.
The bad news: The last I remember seeing of my three tabs of Ecstacy and maybe 1/3 gram of powdered MDMA is when I took it in the bathroom for X-Men 3 at the theater. I've searched. I am yet to find it. I have lost the drugs, and even though it doesn't seem like a lot it would have greatly helped my situation once arriving in Goa to get atleast one person. I'm dissapointed in myself.
And yes I blame God. I am God's puppet. I am God's machine. Every breath I take is a manifestation of Her will. I blame God for the good, and I credit God for the bad. Not a typo, it's the way things are.
So alone.
The Aviator. I WANT TOUCH. HER TOUCH.
1500 - internet
- Rs. 15 : internet
- Rs. 14 : 1/2 litre milk, sweet, hot badam milk
1734 - (Cardcaptors)
1740 - went to the matrix
- Rs. 4 : bujies
- Rs. 6 : four eggs
- Rs. 8 : a good cold coca cola
1815 - two fried eggs, three toast, chocolate coffee
(Cardcaptors)
1816 - [Passage to Goa volume 2]
1957 - by now Ive set up four computer monitors to play what is on the laptop and the center monitor to play what is on the desktop, the laptop is center the desktop monitor and I have got the two big televisions to the sides. She knows who she is, she cheered me up. I hope it's good news. God, I hope it's good news.
2000 - C++ Programming for Dummies
[Roger Sanchez]
{Ninja Hunter}

(Cardcaptors)
2044 - {Crime Story}
2052 - Ninja Hunter
2146 - cooked rice, shi, eventually went to sleep
The great news: I found my drugs

Friday June 16, 2206

0900 - back to work, still a bit groggy obviously, I should be reading a book a day, I know I can read a different text book every day. And yet I'm still slugging through this C++ Programming for Dummies thing.
(Cardcaptors)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee33333eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
0911 - {My Lucky Stars}
0904 - [Roni Size]
0906 -
1017 - about this time the current went out while I was reading, got up, took a shit, turned on the bathroom light while the current was still out, but a second or two later, literally, the current came back on, resulting in the bahtroom light coming on, so I thought that was kind of cool. I came back and made myself a cup of chocolate coffee. When I first started making coffee I would use the big American-style cups, the kind people have at work, but considering I'm a big milk coffee drinker I would use almost a 1/4 quartre litre just to make one cup sometimes, so I started using smaller espresso size cups which are working out fine. Anyway, I'm pretty much out of coffee and milk so that doesn't matter too much
1053 - [Rumenige and Loktibrada]
1054 - got up to search for my pictures of Rachel, Bilhah, Leah, Ziplah as searching for those pictures is what caused me to find my drugs cos I wanted to put one up on each of the four computer monitors, eventually cleaned up the place cos it was messy due to my search for the pills, and now it's clean having washed dishes and put things in their place, put the pictures up on each monitor
1218 -
{Fight Club}
1219 -[Paul van Dyk, Galaxy at Ibiza]
1220 - (Cardcaptors)
1340 - [Q: Dumonde]
1438 - finally finished C++ Programming for Dummies. Fight Club pretty much finished along with it, I had to read the glossary for the credits and whatnot. So that was cool. Typo came up, "cook" instead of "cool", fine. I'm going to eat some eggs and bread, before I go to the internet. leacing the oriental school girl background on the four screens along
1447 - cooking two fried eggs, two pieces of toast
1448 - ate, washed dishes
1456 - file transfer
1459 - saved to disk
1500 - entered the matrix

*all timings are as precise as possible, understand temporal approximations

[Music]
{Two 29 inch Televisions}
(Laptop Monitor)

Friday April 28, 2206

0800 to 0830 - preparation with prayer and joint
0830 to 0950 - ch 7 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
0950 - finished ch 7, smoked roach
1004 - break, chocolate cocoa, Chani Amend
{X-Men 2}
1041 - ch 8 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
1140 - joint
1200 - incense, prayer
1215 - couch
1230 - got up
1230 - cuddled in my heart with Sugar
1316 - more chocolate cocoa
1330 - continued Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing

Saturday April 29, 2206

0800 - ch 9 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
0912 - Butterfinger cocoa
0933 - Book of Revelations door project
0940 - ch 9 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
1005 - CLASSIFIED
1030 - {X-Men 2}
1117 - ch 9 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
1153 - Butterfinger cocoa
1155 - {X-Men 2}
1315 - ch 10 of Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing
1510 - finished Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing, drank water, bathroom

Sunday April 30, 2206

0800 - Vocal Gospel of Matthew
0942 - prepared Bible Black hentai, urination(?), one cup of cold water
1005 - Bible Black ep#1, love tape to Rachel
1034 - fifteen minute break
1050 - Vocal Gospel of Mark
1151 - urination, cup of cold water
1202 - Bible Black ep#2, love tape to Bilhah
1230 - fifteen minute break
1230 - Vocal Gospel of Luke
1440 - urination, cup of cold water
1445 - Bible Black ep#3, love to Zilpah
1515 - fifteen minute break
1530 - Vocal Gospel of John
1648 - urination, cup of cold water
1650 - Bible Black ep#4, love tape to Leah

Monday May 1, 2206

0015 to 0535 - slept
0535 to 0800 - woke up, smoked, cleaned, bath, laundry
[Paul Van Dyk “Out There and Back” and Crystal Method “Vegas”]
0800 - One Up On Wall Street by Peter Lynch
{Wall Street starring Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, and Michal Douglas}
1114 - {Shawshank Redemption}
1500 - pawned a television, went out to eat eggs, finger chips, coffee, fried chicken, beef burger and internet… I considered it pay day having gotten some extra cash for my television so I also figured it was meat eating day… so I enjoyed, internet
2219 - got back
2237 - continued One Up On Wall Street
{Rapid Math Vedic Method}
2315 - {Enter the Dragon}

Tuesday May 2, 2206

0000 - cup of cold water
0003 - smoked roach
[Crystal Method “Vegas”]
0013 - Worship
0030 - The Angel Oracle
{The Matrix Reloaded}
0120 - smoke break, nap
0410 - woke, smoked roach continued movie
0445 - The Angel Oracle
{The Matrix Revolutions}
0535 - after finishing book, smoked execution joint, continued film from Neo Vs. Smith
0607 - laundry, bath
[Paul Van Dyk “Politics of Dancing”]
0730 - Worship
[Leftfield “Rhythm and Stealth”]
0750 - left to the matrix
0900 - chilled in Forum area
1045 - Basic Instinct 2 in the cinemas, I wanted to see this movie because I saw a trailer of with the main male character being named “Michael” so I was interested, turns out that Michael Glass… well, I was pleased with the outcome of the movie, good to know
1935 - returned home How to Develop a Super Power Memory
[Astrix “Eye to Eye”]

Wednesday May 3, 2206

0000 to 0730 - chilled, slept
0730 to 0900 - awoke, bath, ironing, leftover rice with three pieces of buttered bread
{Passion of the Christ}
0900 - left to the matrix for four cinemas day
1005 - Underworld: Evolution
1210 - Ice Age 2
0150 - internet, lunch
1540 - Pink Panther
1725 - Mistress of Spices
2100 - returned home with meals to witness the scene with the resurrection of Jesus Christ from The Passion of the Christ playing on my television as I opened my back door, in order for this to happen about an hour before I got home after spending the whole day watching movies outside at the cinemas the current had to go out at an exact precise time so that the moment I opened my door upon returned this scene where Jesus Christ was victorious could play, this VCD player in question does not have repeat function, hey or maybe God just kicked the equipment on at the precise moment without cutting the current, either way… it’s one of those moments in life… that you know, that I know… I repeat I KNOW GOD LOVES ME.

Saturday May 6, 2206

0000 to 1300 - slept
1530 - Recorded Vocal Gospel of Matthew on Bilhah tape
{Immoral Sisters hentai}
1900 - Recorded Vocal Gospel of Mark on Leah tape
{My Fair Masseuse hentai}

Sunday May 7, 2206

0215 - Recorded Vocal Gospel of Luke on Zilpah tape
{Bible Black hentai}
0400 - Recorded Vocal Gospel of John on Rachel tape
{Night Shift Nurses}
0630 - execution hash joint
0700 to 1130 - Tantric Sex at ITPL bus stop from start to finish, didn’t leave the spot, didn’t drink any water, is sex a sport or is sex an operatic dance?… I’d choose the opera
1130 to 1430 - cleaned, errands
1530 - White Fang by Jack London
1930 - finished White Fang, out to buy manna dinner
2030 to 0000 - slept

Monday May 8, 2206

0000 to 0200 - slept
0200 to 0425 - God on God in right “Morpheus” arm chair
0430 to 0830 - slept
0830 to 1000 - meeting with rent folk, got keys to front flat finally
1000 to 1110 - bath, pacing… I’m tired of being funny
1110 to 1140 - Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer (Vocal Miller’s Tale)
1500 to 1800 - Canterbury Tales
[DieselBoy “Soldier’s Story” and “Passage to Goa vol 2”]
1800 to 2000 - meals, internet, groceries, uring
2000 to 0000 - Canterbury Tales
[“Passage to Goa vol 2”]

Tuesday May 9, 2206

0000 to 0115 - clean up, computer repair
0115 to 0815 - Armaggedon: Appointment with Destiny in left “Neo” arm chair
0830 - left to the matrix
0915 - started walking from Residency Road to the Forum, dropped powdered MDMA
1025 - powdered MDMA, saw Munich in cinemas
1500 - home
{Blade}
(Cardcaptors)

1600 - slept in Red Bed in Purple Room, woke up, no electricity for the area
1600 to 0000 - continued sleeping, as the current hadn’t come back I eventually did get up and clean the entire front flat quite thoroughly before Thursday atleast

Wednesday May 10, 2206

0000 to 1530 - cleaned, dishes, etc
1600 - groceries

Thursday May 11, 2206

0505 - woke, two eggs, two toast
0530 - coffee, Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
[Koze]
{Bruce Almighty}
(Cardcaptors “Attack of the Teddy Bear”)

0615 - bath
0630 - dishes, refrigerator cleaning, computer preparation for Sunday Gospel hack
0900 - out for groceries
1012 - returned, Animal Farm by George Orwell
[Paul Van Dyk]
{X-Files: The Movie}
(Kill Bill)

1135 - [Trance Trip 4]
1153 - finished Animal Farm, continued the films
1218 - finished watching the X-Files film, urine, made lunch
1307 - organized my IPOD, chilled danced
[Adam Beyer]
{Matrix Revolutions}
1450 - out for lunch
1638 - returned
1700 - The Lazarus Effect by Frank Herbert
[Cari LekeBush]
{X-Men 1}
(Chinese Connection)

1811 - [Chris Clark]
1823 - (Death by Misadventure)
1839 - went to the kitchen to make an two egg potato eggplant tomato onion omelette with three pieces of toast and hot milk with sugar, continued reading a bit
1915 - came back with hot milk with sugar continued reading The Lazurus Effect
[Danny Frigidaire]
{X-Men 1 continued}
(Fists of Fury)

1938 - {X-Men 2}
2049 - Urination
2109 - [Comtron]
2113 - (Enter the Dragon)
2150 - {The Aviator}
2200 - [Das Bierbeben]
2250 - made some dinner, rice vegetables (eggplant, onion, tomato, a green something), one fried egg, and one piece of toast with chopped bananas with sugar for dessert

Friday May 12, 2206

0000 to 0900 - slept
0900 to 1021 -
grocery shopping
1021 to 1040 - made a cup of coffee, relaxed, prepared systems
1040 - [D Mateo]
1100 - The Lazarus Effect
{The Passion of the Christ}

(CardCaptors)
1216 - [Chris Leibing]
1258 - after finishing The Lazurus Effect, made lunch (potato eggplant onion fry, two sunny side up eggs, two pieces of toast with butter, one toasted jam sandwhich, one banana, half a cup of coffee)
1337 - electricity had gone out as I had just finished eating the meal I had cooked on my electric stove, I finished up the last of my coffee thinking that only my electricity had been cut as I didn’t hear the neighbors generator go on and heard some talking near my current box…. Hey I haven’t paid the bills in about eight months… trying to save the human race and all apparently gets lousy pay…. Pedophiles get higher pay and more respect than I get for being the guy responsible for slaying the dragon named Satan… go fucking figure; ANYWAY!! so I eventually started cleaning up, but the current came back on, so I got back to work
1434 - began to copy of over my DJ livesets from cd to the desktop harddisk
1530 - made a cup of coffee, drank up coffee flavored blood of Jesus Christ
[Flannagan]
{The Passion of the Christ}
(Matrix Revolutions)

1558 - (Cardcaptors “The Dangerous Piano”)
1600 - began Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: The Angel Chronicles vol 1
1607 - [Roger Sanchez]
1621 - {Golden Queens Commando}
1705 - (Cardcaptors “Attack of the Teddy Bear”)
1710 -
1801 - {The Aviator}
1815 - finished Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: The Angel Chronicles vol 1, made dinner (potato eggplant onion fry with one piece of toast)… the current went out before I could make anything more
1900 - went to the Red Room in the front flat, sat in one desk by candlelight and read Speed Mathematics by Bill Handley during which current came on eventually
2200 - got up from that desk went to the opposite desk lit another candle and read Learn Hindi in 30 Days
2300 - came to the back flat and made dinner (rice and potato eggplant two unknown green vegetables carrot onion garlic fry with two egg omelette a bit burnt with three pieces of buttered toast and rice with chilly akai and two bannannas with sugar for desert)
2337 - had dinner in front of video equipment
{The Aviator}
(Cardcaptors “Attack of the Teddy Bear”)

Saturday May 13, 2206

0000 - updated schedule and budget files
(Cardcaptors “The Dangerous Piano)
0300 to 0630 - slept
0630 - woke up, took dishes from back flat kitchen to front flat kitchen as there is a flooding problem with the back kitchen sink, took the stove there as well, went out to buy groceries… turned out a place sells eggs for about one rupee cheaper for four, and some kid gave me change for a fifty in full instead of forty back when I bought some bread, hey everyone needs those nice freebies in life
0730 - contract work
[Crystal Method “Vegas”]
{The Aviator}
(Cardcaptors “The Dangerous Piano”)
0843 - [Dieselboy “A Soldier’s Story”]
0920 - front flat kitchen for breakfast (two egg omelette with vegetables, three buttered toast, one toast sandwhich, one banana, cup of coffee)
1030 - went out to the internet
1200 - front flat kitchen, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
2250 - finished the book, 665 pages in about eleven hours… not bad, cooked myself some dinner (two eggs sunny side up with two pieces of buttered toast sandwhich and one piece of buttered toast yellow yoke cleanup, rice with fried vegetables of potato, onion, eggplant, okra, carrot, tomato, a jam toast sandwhich, one piece of bread with jam and sugar plus one bananna in milk with sugar for dessert, and a cup of strong coffee)
2350 - went to back flat

Sunday May 14, 2206

0000 - urinated and shit, took bath, set up computer screens for Gospel hack
0030 to 0700 - slept
0700 - went out to buy milk and have idly plate
0715 - got back, washed dishes, made breakfast (two fried eggs with potato tomato onion garlic carrot, three pieces of buttered toast, two pieces of buttered toast with fried vegetables, one toast jam sandwhich, one bananna, cup of coffee), ate washed remaining dishes, cleaned up the kitchen
0900 - came to the back flat, current eventually went out so just chilled for a bit, did some laundry
1007 - current came back on, set up the computers again for Gospel Hack, projected commencment at High Noon, got ready
1028 - after updating schedule files, updated budget files, made final preparations for High Noon Gospel hack, made a cup of coffee eventually to drink, laundry
1043 - [Pet Duo]
1200 (High Noon) - Began Gospel Hack
[Live sets from Awakenings Festival and 5 Days off at Random]
{X-Men}
(Cardcaptors)

1350 - {X-Men 2}
1421 - {Shawshank Redemption}
1740 - {Chinese Connection}
1833 - {Fists of Fury}
1943 - {Legend}
2025 - finished typing the Gospel of Matthew
2150 - {Matrix Reloaded}
2130 - urination, began typing work on the Gospel of Mark, continued the same video setup with the same hentai playing on two screens flanking Cowboy Bebop in the middle, Cardcaptor Sakura on my laptop monitor, the only thing changing mainly was the two big screens which I’ve been updating.
1107 - {007” The World Is Not Enough}

Monday May 15, 2206

0000 - {Natural Born Killers}
0030 to 1641 - slept, yes for about just under seventeen hours I slept, such depression, I WILL NOT GIVE UP
1645 - began working on typing the Gospels of Mark again… upset that I slept so much, had I not slept I would have been finished by now, I’m so lonely, I dreamt I was on the floor calling for Chani, I miss my wife… I hate being so alone, I hate feeling like the one human male who has to work so ridiculously hard just to be held by his wife. If morons in the matrix deserve to procreate, I KNOW I DESERVE to have my wife Chani and our baby girl Ghanima and to pass this home in it’s entirety to the two of them. I also dreamt about having a full refrigerator, that was nice. It’d be sweet and swell if God allowed me have this Hoodi house with full refrigerator for my family and me. A part of the sleep sequence involved me thinking about the rent I owe. I NEED about one lakh rupees A.S.A.P. PLEASE GOD, DON’T LET ME LOSE THIS HOME!!! I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!! THIS HOODI HOUSE!!! ALLOW ME TO KEEP IT IN YOUR HOLY NAME!!
1830 - {Return of the Rebel}
1900 - after finishing the Gospel of Mark, took a break to urinate and just chill, checked on the Gospels from ebook format into document format so I could have them printed out later to put as wallpaper for the front flat when the front door is opened.
2000 - began working on typing the Gospel of Luke
{Ocean’s Twelve}
2154 - after finishing the first chapter of Luke, I was too weak with hunger and thirst, so I laid outside on my back flat front porch, then came in, opened the couch window, and laid on the couch, after some time God said to me through me, “eat and drink, and I won’t punish you”… so I went and ate about fourteen pieces of toast with butter and jam, then some tomatoes and onions as a grilled vegetable sandwich, I went out to buy some milk, four eggs, ¼ kg of potatoes, some sweet, biscuits… before doing the Gospels of Matthew I ate yesterday, so DAY BY DAY OUR DAILY BREAD has been fulfilled as I ate tonight, the day after. I’m going to erase the chapter one of Luke work and just start at midnight hopefully, and just get down to it. God loves me, and could never be angry at me for anything, cos I’m just Her little Killer Kitty. So super cute…. Oh, the good thing about going to the front kitchen and eating and making a cup of coffee which I’m now waiting to drink with my sweet and biscuits is that I got to look at the picture of Chani I’ve got, and the feeling I got about how cute she is with her “BME Clinic” online on the internet. She’s so pretty and cute, and she’s so adorable, and she’s the kind of girl that gets all giddy when she thinks about me being her man. And I love her. And she’s smart too. Real smart. Super smart. I consider her to be a captain. Period.
2135 - Laptop and Desktop with the same setup for the Gospel Hack, only the two big screens changing. Second time around for Ocean’s Twelve, and then again a third time at midnight because I SERIOUSLY want to put an extra emphasis on TEAMWORK. Until midnight just chilled with a cup of coffee with sweet and biscuits
{Ocean’s Twelve}

Tuesday, May 16, 2206
0000 - Typing Gospel of Luke
{Ocean’s Twelve}
0111 - {Batman and Superman Movie}
0145 - went to the front kitchen for a cup of coffee (the milk when I bought it had that smell, still good milk but didn’t really want to risk it going bad, plus.. I wanted a cup of a coffee!!) enjoyed some sweet and biscuits. Got to spend some more time with my wife Chani, her photo, on my red bed cos that’s her bed. Got to thinking about how she could work at AOL here, a Fortune 500 company and put us through me being in 39 Steps University with a double major in Chemistry and Physics. I love her so much.
0300 - after pacing in the front flat for God knows how long… oh wait, so do I cos have a rough estimate with the time… does that make me God? ANYWAY!!! Came back, did some work on the gospel of Luke, I think… then eventually took a shit
0340 - got back to work on the Gospel of Luke
0443 - {Talons of the Eagle}
0601 - {Enter the Ninja}
0745 - {Queen of the Damned}
0845 - went to the front flat to make some breakfast (two pieces of toast with jam, two fried eggs with two pieces of toast, some fried potatoes, a cup of coffee) I paced for a bit, cleaned the dishes, found that Spiderman shirt I’ve been wanting to wash. So lonely, so fucking lonely.
1011 - got back to work
1129 - {Blood Fight}
1231 - {Spy Kids 3D}
2200 - began the Gospel of John typing
{Spiderman: Animated Series}
2147 - {Lawnmower Man}

Wednesday, May 17, 2206

0000 - front flat to make rice and fried vegetables (one eggplant, potato, bellpepper, three okra, a couple of string beans(?), half an onion) with two pieces of bread, made a cup of coffee
0109 - back to work on the Gospel of John with my cup of coffee
{Enter the Dragon}
1415 - at some point in the early morning I had gone back to the front flat to make a cup of coffee, when I saw a rodent I was startled and my “I have the cock that stays up all night” coffee cup broke when it hit the ground, the part with the saying on and the rooster only broke in two pieces so it’s still clear what it says. I was pleased because rather see this as a negative omen, God encouraged me to perceive it as a promise from Her. In the same way that a glass is broken during Jewish weddings, this felt like God rewarding me for this Gospel work I’ve been doing, specifically this typing of the Gospels which no one consciously told me to do. Every cloud has a silver lining, and I’m beginning to see that the entire sky is golden. So I came back and got to work after sleeping for the morning and early afternoon on Chani and my red bed. I imagined her there with me, and it was wonderful. I am still lonely. I instructed her to meet me for a movie on June 1 so that we could get started on our work. But I don’t know if she has the money to come here. Anyway, I am back in the back flat and I have eleven chapters of John left. Same video setup as before.
{Enter the Dragon}
1629 - {The Making of the Passion of the Christ}
1725 - finished the gospel hack
1748 - got up went to go make dinner

Thursday May 18, 2206

1636 - the current went out last night during a rain storm, so I just chilled in the front futon, eventually it came back on, so I made some food, and got to work on my computers after a nap. I hate everyone. I HATE, and I HATE. I sleep so much because of my depression. Six years and I’m still alone. Not one single female seems to want to show me gratitude for my sacrifices. Instead, she’d rather please the rich boys of Zion and the Matrix who deny God. So a poor man who suffers one night to the next having no one to hold, wanting only the mother of his firstborn to be obedient and loving at his beck and call FIRST… can you blame me for wanting to kill everyone? I don’t want to kiss anyone but HER. I haven’t kissed a female in so long, years… FUCKING YEARS… technically “NON-FUCKING YEARS” cos I’ve been sitting in prison, brooding in a third world village with old chics instead of sexy hot young females, and why? WHY?!!! Because I LOVE GOD!!! BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS CHRIST, TRINITY, AND ALLAH she considers me an UGLY FREAK!!!
1641 - back to computer work, I don’t want to lose my home, not again. I’ve already lost one home, the accumulation of my childhood. That was gone years ago when I learned that “friendship” is non-existent in the underground. There are only back-stabbing scavengers with pretend smiles on their faces.
1705 - Chani, if you’re reading this… please, please my darling wife, come home… my darling obedient wife, come home and love your husband, obey the man who cares for you so much and who cannot live his life without you (And for those of you who don’t know the name “Chani”, that is the name of Muad’Dib’s wife in the Dune series by Frank Herbert… considering my name is Muad’Dib… well my wife would be named Chani)

Friday May 19, 2206

1200 - powdered mdma, began typing the Gospels of Jesus Christ again.
{X-Men}
(Cardcaptor Sakurs)

1306 -
1320 - <>
1412 - {X-Men 2}
1437 - <>
1536 - <>
1541 - CURRENT OUT
1600 - current came back on, set up the windows again, enjoyed having the fan on as I had turned it off before because I didn’t have ways to hold the pages of the Bible from flying with the wind, got some pens and paper clips. BACK TO WORK

1701 - <>
1734 - {The Search for Spock}
1839 -
1926 - {Constantine}
2051 -
2141 - {The Ten Commandments}

2217 -

Saturday May 13, 2206

I kept going until about two thirty in the morning. Fourteen hours of just typing with occasional breaks. My hands felt numb I guess. I didn’t really want to quit, but it was done. I collapsed on the couch next to me.
I know everyone keeps thinking “be a man” and all that bullshit, but these same people don’t sleep with the Bible and Koran, these same people don’t glorify God half as much as I do.

And most importantly, how can I be a man without a woman by my side? When I have to spend night after night alone, for God knows how many years. When I have to endure so much hatred and sacrifice. The people I hate the most? Zion. I wish I had never been “unplugged” because all I feel is loneliness. I feel hopeless. I feel lonely beyond words. And I hate; I hate everyone and everything. Love is no longer an option. I have about five weeks until I’m supposed to either vacate my home or pay about one lakh rupees in back rent (just over two thousand U.S. dollars).

I realize that no one loves me. I hate white people. To me Zion is nothing more than a bunch of rich white brats, specifically bitches, who have no real love for God. It is my love for God that is killing me. This love I have that no one returns for me. Zion is supposed to be heaven, and Jesus Christ promised us that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich person to enter heaven.” Then why are there unholy, arrogant, ungrateful rich princess models being allowed to take the red pill? And I had to endure the white supremacy attitude of the elder hippie generation. Oh they might not realize it, but I felt it. God damn white people. God damn white America. Go damn white women, and God damn the white corporation.

I have no family. I have no angels. The story so far: Satan and his angels are defeating Michael all by his lonesome. Michael’s angels? That’s a joke.

I guess the real reason I hate “white society”… because for years of their media they programmed me to believe that I couldn’t be an archangel unless I was white-skinned, tall, blue eyed and blond and muscular. Little did I realize that in the manner of God choosing David to be king in the Old Testamant could I be eligible for a position of power in the Lord’s kingdom based not upon my physical stature but upon the contents of my heart.

I guess God truly is the only one who appreciates my heart.

Oh and today, I got beat on by some vegetable dealers cos I misunderstood the price. The last time I had been there the guy charged me half of what they charged me today, and I demanded my money back which I eventually got, but I got hit several times.

I hate my life. I want to die. Not the bullshit metaphorical death where you lose your home, but the death where my biological heart stops beating.

I built this home for my angels. I built this home for my wives and their children. I don’t want to lose this home. Love…

Let’s talk about “love.” It’s a lie. The love between humans is a lie. God can love us, we can love God. But for two humans to love one another? I don’t think so. After all that I’ve sacrificed for the human race, after all the pain I’ve endured… after I came all this way… I need to face the facts, there is no love. There is no hope. There is only my hatred for everyone and everything. There is only the betrayal of Zion, who would rather side with the devil himself than with the very savior they prayed for. Millions of dollars to make a movie to make my life this headache, this heartache… and I can’t get two thousand dollars to pay my back rent, and fifty dollars a week for survival to study chemistry.

My plan? I commanded two slaves to show up in Bangalore on June 1 and June 14. We’ll see if they show up. And if they don’t, then after I finish “writing” the gospels of Jesus Christ between those two dates, I will read a series of books for my intelligence. And then I’ll leave. I’ll pack my bag and go to Goa. Searching for sixteen females, and maybe I can raise one lakh rupees in the the one to three weeks I’ll have.

I just want to feel loved. Not this tough love bullshit. I’m tired of that. I hate women. All I wanted was obedience, the love that comes from her touch. But she made a mockery of my heart. And I keep coming back for more. I keep believing her lies that she’s capable of goodness, the lies that she’s capable of loyalty and faithfulness. The lies that she can be holy and intelligent.

And I realize now what love is. Financial control. Love is trust of that nature. Anything less is a ridicule of my manhood. Complete financial control.

I don’t deserve the amount of loneliness I’ve felt. No human should ever have to feel this alone.

2205 - after chlling and cleaning up a bit. Got back to hacking the Gospels again. And I guess the mistake I made was getting up during the Gospel of Matthew when the lights went off. So the next time I do this… I wait. I patiently wait. And I try, God knows I try. I’m disappointed with myself because I didn’t complete this Gospel hack within a twenty four hour period, which I could have done had I just sat here and focused. And I drank and ate because I was hungry.

I want to die.

All I hear is the sound of my own heart breaking. It’s all ready been burned to a crisp and had a truckload of salt dumped on it.

I wish I had never believed in love.

{The Matrix Reloaded}
(Cardcaptors)

Tuesday May 16, 2206

It’s actually about an hour an ten minutes before midnight to Tuesday making it Monday night so I thought I’d just post this update here. I’ve been depressed, money problems of course. My neighbors leave glass pieces in my sandals and on my front porch. I lost a purple vibrator that my mother brought me. It was one of two, so now I’ve only got one vibrator. A whole lot of chains though and dog collars. And two toilets. So that’s a positive side. I got beat on by some vegetable dealers when there a misunderstanding about the price. It may have fallen out then from my pocket or someone may have come into my home while I was asleep (the rent takers have keys) and saw it while I was asleep. Either way I’m pretty bummed about it.

I eventually did finish the second run through the Gospels. Took me some time, and I got that done. Eventually I’d like to get it done in a 24 hour period. I began to read the Koran out loud at some point in time this morning, but… that’s right. I finished the Gospels for the second time around two thirtyish on this Monday morning. Today. Then I tried reading the Koran out loud, but as I hadn’t slept I crashed. I got to about 135 pages or something (the Koran is 635 pages), and I actually took a shit in a bucket so as to say seated. But I took off my uniform and as I was naked, just slept in my chair for the better part of the day.

I went out eventually to call the guy I want to sell the televisions to, and I should see him tomorrow. Hopefully. I need the cash. I’ve only got about Rs. 21 now. Saturday I should go into ITPL and get the Hebrew Bible and God willing, raise some funds with some dominatrix investors. I did have dinner. Got some vegetables and eggs, made some rice with that. And I’ll have enough for a naughty vegetable omellete tommorow.

I’m going to start reading the Koran outloud again from the start because I have this “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” mentality. So it’ll be done. But that’ll be at midnight. So here we go.

S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S.

0000 - Koran out loud vocal
[liveset music]
{Cool Devices}
(Cardcaptors)

0448 - {Bible Black}
0548 - {Immoral Sister}
0724 - {Night Shift Nurse}
0839 - {My Fair Masseuse}
0903 - “You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.”
0924 - [Kill Bill}

1107 -
1110 - {Spiderman Cartoon}

1153 - finished reading the Koran out loud completely
1200 - got up out of the chair, and had a nice drink of cold water, took a nap, after some time got up, huh…
2200 - it seems that about ten hours is unaccounted for so to speak… oh yes, after I left to see about selling my televisions, I discovered that he didn’t want to come today, it’s understandable cos I’ve been calling and calling saying that tomorrow I’m coming and so forth, and so on, the guy is a nice guy, but I’ve just been sucked into my machines. Because of my hatred for the matrix, I tend not to treat individuals in the matrix with a certain level of respect due to my overall hatred of the entire system. Anyway, I’m watching Natural Born Killers with Blade unto midnight hopefully, and then will continue my Vocal Bible…
The food situation is GRIM. I’ve got rice, okay… I’ve got rice. I’ve used my credit at the bakers, and that guy is nice about it. I think he runs tabs for other people, but I just hate, going there. I feel like such a weakling sometimes. Oh, I’ve got some garlic.
This is it then. I hope this works.

Wednesday, May 24, 2206

0000 - Vocal Bible continued (The Five Books of Moses Finished)
[livesets in alphabetical order]
{Enter the Dragon}: the two big screens are on Martial Arts for vocal Bible
(Cardcaptors)
: after this the desktop is on hentai for vocal Bible
powdered mdma
0058 -
0154 -
0221 - {Twice Deadly II}
0335 - {The Punch of Death}
1924 - slept for about fifteen hours apparently, the mdma did it’s work. I feel pleasantly crucified to this wooden chair, my cross. A little upset about sleeping for so long… daylight, nightlight…. What does it matter as long as there is electric light to read by… I had a quick flash to turn off the light and go to sleep, so I did… didn’t realize it would be for so long… doesn’t matter, I don’t have much money for food anyway, and this was about fasting… the televisions were turned off as well, as well as the desktop monitor, the only thing going was the music in light volume and the laptop monitor playing the Sakura hentai screensaver. Oh, I remember why I took a break from reading, even though I had only been going for about three hours, because I got to the part where David the King is chosen not because of his small appearance but because God see what is in a man’s heart.
1930 - {The Punch of Death}

back to reading the Bible out loud, haven’t gotten up yet from the chair.
SLEEP IS OFFICIALLY THE ENEMY.
2018 - {Mission of Justice} - a police movie… so I’m patron saint of cops, eh? Fuck.
Dreams that stick out? Well I can really just remember one. There was a girl with a tattoo on her neck. It was the second day at her house or something. She seemed American. I didn’t want to feel like I was annoying her by coming in again, but it didn’t matter she didn’t seem all that annoyed. In fact, she seemed to like my presence (this thought is coming to me now like she’s saying it), it’s the other guys that were there that got on her nerves. Thanks, girl. Anyway, there was pizza on a table. A box of pizza to the right and a piece of pizza on the table. The guy was talking to me about it, how he wanted to eat it or something, so I just picked it up as he was talking about wanting to eat it, and began to eat it, to show him he should just have taken the fucking pizza. Maybe in a way I was talking to myself… no, I have that vow of celibacy thing going. It’s getting strange thinking of myself as a gigilow. A male prostitute. Me. Of all fucking people. Anyway, he did ask me for a piece of the pizza which I’m pretty sure I gave him.
Also, another dream was an Ocean’s Eleven theme. I felt like I was Rusty or something trying to play breaking into a place I was working in when the guy was still there or something. Like a pool hall? Cos I kind of remember a pool table, maybe. Thought occurs to me, if I’m Rusty (the second in command), then Daniel Ocean would be Jesus Christ. I got no problem with that. Hey, Brad Pitt does look sexier in the eyes of most females anyway than George Clooney.
Back to Armageddon. Wait, every breath I breathe is Armageddon and the Apocalypse. So I’m always in. Whether in the underground or the surface world, the war continues. Whether battling the Matrix or the city of Zion, I FIGHT. Amen.
And I ALWAYS battle myself.
Another dream I had was in rave format… you know a bunch of heads altogether in club form with the music. There was a blonde girl with her hair tied back in a pony tail and her friend was telling her that this guy (presumably me) wanted to give her a tab of Ecstacy. Now I hoped this meant that after my two captains come home, ready to Glorify Him, Lord Jesus Christ, that I can go to Goa for the rave season or even for the rainy season and pick up females that easily.
Hope, maybe it IS NOT the ugliest word in the English language.
2145 - {The Legend II}
Now, maybe this dreams means that my two captains aren’t coming. I can deal with that. I’ve been ALONE for this long. However, I’m just sick and tired of being expected to fight for a human race that doesn’t fight by my side. If my two captains don’t come, then I’d have to go Goa anyway (I think either way I’ll be going back before my birthday on July 15… anyone reading this want to give me an early birthday present of one lakh rupees feel free to do so). Once in Goa I’d only have about two tabs and some powdered MDMA. I could pick up one or two girls with that. I say “girls” because if you haven’t read the Bible even once, don’t expect us who have fought and died and fought for the Word of God to treat you like an adult. No matter you’re biological age.
Now I hope, Yes… I HOPE, that my two captains report in ready to obey and love. And even if only one shows up, I’m still lucky because I know they are separate beings. And I care about them so much. I got not a care in the world until June 1 really, even my money situation doesn’t bug me. I’ve got bread in the refrigerator after I finish my Bible work, and water. Bread and water.
BREAD AND WATER.
2157 -
2231 - took a break as I got to the part in the Bible where Solomon makes his speech to the Lord requesting wisdom and understanding to rule his people. The Lord pleased with this speech that Solomon FIRST requested wisdom instead of long life, riches, or his enemies’ defeat…. Grants him his prayer and THEN SOME. I say “first” requested, because these other desires may have been in his heart after the fact. Still his heart won out in the end.
The thought occurs to me that by sacrificing the financial credit of my Thomas Anderson name to expand my personal one bedroom haven to a five bedroom group haven in order to help my brothers and sisters currently in the lie of a false prophet Christian missionary pedophile network, I may have requested “love” first. As I had all ready bought one thousand blanks of compact discs, I think my prayer for wisdom was good to go. I intend on gathering more hopefully. And the thought did occur to me earlier, bringing tears to my soul that my “happy thought” for flying (remember the movie Hook where Peter Pan needed a “happy thought” to fly) was to liberate those aforementioned brothers and sisters from the sick hypocrisy they are being forced to believe to come and live with me. That’s my “happy thought”. And it brings a smile to my face right now just thinking about it.
The loving thing about God is this, by building this home for others, God (yes my faith needs strengthening) hopefully seems to love me enough to first give me the women I have dreamed of my entire life, to be the mothers of my children. I didn’t build the front flat for them consciously, but as I perceive it now, it is theirs. Hers. I want her there, and I want her there soon, and I want her there happy. Cos she’s my wife, and I love her, cos she’s my daughter’s mother.
2312 - {Vengeance of Snow Maid}
I have no angels. I have no hope. I hate. I hate and I hate.
I hate women.
I hate myself for believing in love.
I hate love.

Thursday May 25, 2206

0000 - urination, water

{Snake in the Monkey’s Shadow}
0116 - {Hurricane Sword}

0205 - break
0255 - water
0300 - back to Vocal Bible

0341 - {Fighting Life}
0400 -
0512 - {China Strike Force}
0643 - {Winners and Sinners}
0806 - cold water, Second Book of Chronicles, repeat of Solomon’s prayer for wisdom 0826 - another thought occurred to me in reference to that dream about giving the blonde girl with a ponytail a tab of ecstacy. It might have been a warning; that no matter how good the girl looks, sell it to her. Don’t give her a tab just because she’s pretty, at that point in time she hasn’t fucked me yet or isn’t turning over her bank accounts and possessions to me, so why should I be so nice, considering the human race isn’t so nice to me? Free love? What a bunch of bullshit.
1717 - this is apparently a slow process. It seems that I might have to fast for seven days, as next Wednesday is the day before June 1, and eating that day would regain my strength to go to my appointment. However, I didn’t think it would take this long. I’m so incredibly lonely, and I’m so incredibly full of hatred.
In one of my dreams I was in a car on the freeway, and I could see the matrix, black skyscrapers with green lights and whatnot. I got home to where my mother was typing some sort of news article about how the last set of freedom fighters or something like that was a group of air pilots called “Sakura’s Orange-juice Squadron” - SQ17 sounds familiar. I was also in a classroom where a girl was asking for permission to go to the bathroom or something, or get some water. And I thought that I wouldn’t do that, basically considering my rank. A guy with a tie and a white shirt comes by, one of the “teachers” or something, only I get the idea he reports to someone higher up, and I question him how long before I’m basically a black hat for real because I’m wearing my black hat in the dream. He says something about how any system is penetrable before I ask him this like prisons and banks.
Seven years.
His answer was seven years. I can wait, I can be patient. The important thing to note is that the key was to “integrate with the technology”. However, I don’t want to spend the next seven years alone. If God will give me my wives, I’ll be more motivated to work, because the touch of obedient, faithful females is all my heart needs right now to keep going.
This depression of loneliness is killing my mind.
Furthermore, this seven year also gave me the idea that instead of these sixteen dominatrix thing project taking three to four years, more realistic would be seven years as to give time for just everyone’s personal schedule and life. Seven years to get a nice steady flow where nobody feels rushed.
I also dreamt I was back in Goa going up Arambol road towards that computer shop with the German guy and the British gal. I was pushing a scooter, perhaps it was broken. But I wasn’t having a hard time doing it. Which was a good sign.
That’s about it. I should get back to work.
Enough fucking dreaming.
I’ve got two cities to destroy.
1740 - cold water
1741 - {From Beijing with Love}

1809 -
1910 - {Project A}
1958 - {Night Shift Nurses}
2039 - {Rage And Honor II}
2111 - {My Fair Masseuse}
2130 - The Book of Nehemiah: Vocal Bible
2152 - {Bible Black}
2210 - {Breathing Fire}

Friday, May 26, 2206

0001 - urination
0003 - The Book of Esther: Vocal Bible
{High Risk}

0027 - The Book of Job: Vocal Bible
0145 - The Book of Psalms: Vocal Bible
0209 - {Defender}
0340 - {Shaolin vs Manchu}
0447 -
0510 - The Book of Proverbs: Vocal Bible
0515 - {Lightning Kung Fu}
0621 - cold water break
0630 - The Book of Ecclesiastes: Vocal Bible
{Night Shift Nurses}
0655 - {My Stunts}
0700 - The Book of the Song of Solomon: Vocal Bible
0740 - cold water
0800 to 2230 - slept for a long time, obviously weak from dehydration because I kept dreaming about taking my chair and going to the kitchen to get water, only the unusual thing was I kept waking up to being in the gospel room (I call it the gospel room because it’s the first room I put the gospels up in… I intend on pasting the gospels in the front flat entrance room soon enough). So around 2030 perhaps I got up and dragged myself with my chair to push the refrigerator back in place. From when I started fasting from food I only had about three liters of water until I ran out of water just before 0800 according to this typing, my last entry for water being just above. I need to get back to work soon. I’ve been doing the whole midnight launch thing, but I’ll try something new now with the whole “early bird catches the worm thing”. I drank two glasses of water, and then filled those glasses plus the two liter bottle and the one liter bottle up and put them in the refrigerator.
I talked to Satan a bit. She’ll be taken female form with me from now on. She explained quite earnestly that once we partnered up and destroyed the current version of Zion, I could go ahead and logically create a New Zion that respected me more and treated my rank and authority with dignity. Why should I fight for a city that gets pleasure from my pain? Citizens of Zion who currently glorify God less than I, even citizens who simply refuse to glorify God are getting females in multiple numbers whereas I, a humble man who glorifies God continuously, a man who has been imprisoned and EXILED, can’t even get ONE obedient, faithful, loyal, loving female? Besides my home here, plus my future two home are at stake, so my ownership of them is part of the deal as well.
To Hell with a Zion that denies Jesus Christ.
2234 - urination in a bucket
2235 - The Book of Isaiah: Vocal Bible
[Matthew Herbert]
{Magnificent Bodyguard}

2317 -
2355 - {Bruce Le Vs Ninja>
2357 - [Melon]

Saturday May 27, 2206

0017 -
0112 - {The Order}
My rank is General-Commander.
0155 - [Michel De Hey]
0204 - The Book of Jeremiah: Vocal Bible
0241 - {Five Deadly Venoms}
0309 - [Miss Djax]
0423 - {Action Man}
0446 - [Mistress Barbara]
0510 - one litre of cold water
0517 - The Book of Lamentations: Vocal Bible

0534 - The Book of Ezekiel : Vocal Bible
Every minute counts.
0554 - {Butterfly Sword}
0610 - [Monica Electronica]
0652 -
0657 - {Tiger Cage 2}
0739 - [Ned]
0803 -
0812 - {Flag of Honour}
0815 - increased the font size of my windows xp theme so that I could see the time better
0816 - [Oscar Mulero]
0842 - {Bible Black}
0848 - urination
0849 - The Book of Daniel: Vocal Bible
0920 - {Fighting Ace}
0940 - The Book of Hosea: Vocal Bible
0943 - [Pet Duo]
0950 -
1003 - The Book of Joel: Vocal Bible
1012 - The Book of Amos: Vocal Bible
1030 - The Book of Obadiah: Vocal Bible
1034 - The Book of Jonah: Vocal Bible
1040 - The Book of Micah: Vocal Bible
1054 - The Book of Nahum: Vocal Bible
1058 - [Peter Dundov and Steve Rachmad]
1101 - {Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles}
1102 - The Book of Habakkuk: Vocal Bible
1108 - The Book of Zephaniah: Vocal Bible
1115 - The Book of Haggai: Vocal Bible
1119 - The Book of Zechariah: Vocal Bible
1124 -
1144 - The Book of Malachi: Vocal Bible
1155 - finished reading the Old Testament Vocal Bible
1200 to 1930 - got up from the chair, worshipped, a cup of cold water, slept for about six hours, took a bath, urinated in the matrix toilet instead of the bucket, washed the martial arts beachwear, took my clothes from the clothes line, cleaned up my work area
I’m supposed to say at this point that the one thought that comes from reading so much of The Bible out loud and being ALONE for so long…”I HATE WOMEN.”
1902 - [Paul Van Dyk]
1920 - we’re in quarantine gear
1921 - cold water
1925 - (Cardcaptors)
1930 - {Constantine}

1931 - [Peter Grummich]
1933 - Stranger in a Strange Land
2038 - “How would you like to soak in a big, hot tub”… in the book, at the same time on Constantine the scene where the girl cop is entering the tub to perceive Hell.
2052 - water
2053 - [Phonopunk]
2131 -
2132 - {Ocean’s Twelve}
2200 - [Q: Anne Savage]
One cool thing was that I had started reading Stranger in a Strange Land at Section Three. For this I had the two movies Constantine and Bruce Almighty, and just as I was starting Section Four, like the free flowing of water, the next two movies were loaded up of X-Files and Ocean’s Twelve.
2300 - having finished Section Four, waiting to do Section Five later with two 007 movies, I drank the rest of the water, and just chilled as the current movies finished up.
Copied X-Files part 1, and the X-Men movies to my hard disk

Sunday May 28, 2206

0000 - [Silence]
{Star Trek Movie Marathon}

(CardCaptors)
0001 - The Book of Matthew: Vocal Bible
0300 - The Book of Mark: Vocal Bible
0400 - break, [Paul Van Dyk]
0410 - As I started episode ten of Cowboy Bebop with the dog Ein showing, on he Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, the guard dog of the Enterprise submarine in the past showed up in synch
0530 - The Book of Luke: Vocal Bible
0642 - Freudian typo of “best robber” instead of “best robe” from prodigal son parable
0715 to 0820 - slept in the chair
0900 - The Book of John: Vocal Bible
0947 - Freudian typo “I am my father are one” from “I and my father are one”
1039 - [Paul Van Dyk] - the album Politics of Dancing vol. 2 is special to me because I
listened to a tape of it when I christened this home with the Foundation Trilogy by Isaac
Asimov, so listening to it brings me to that universe.
1152 - put on some clothes, blue long sleeve shirt, blue jump pants, the black “be like mike” t-shirt… my “hospital surgeon” uniform… time to take care of some of patients… I guess when I consider Zion to be a hospital with patients then I can’t be too mad, considering my knowledge does give me the ability to take care of them, I just wish that patients were more cooperative my diagnosis and treatment plans
urination, cold water,
1200 - Stranger in A Strange Land
[Q: Dumonde]
{007: Die Another Day}
<007:>
(Cardcaptors)
1306 - [Q: DJ Issac]
1331 - [L Dopa]
1351 - water, finished Stranger in a Strange Land, continued 007 movies
1600 - The Book of Acts: Vocal Bible
[Rumenige and Loktibrada]
1602 - {Daredevil}

1701 - {Spiderman Animated Series}
<>
1730 - [San Proper]
1740 -
1743 - {The 39 Steps}
1759 - water
1800 - The Book of Romans: Vocal Bible
1831 - [Scan X]
1839 -
1850 - water for Mystique
1851 - The Book of First Corinthians: Vocal Bible (f. 1938)
1905 - {X-Men}

(Cardcaptors… continual loop, just reminding)
1919 - [Sharp and Mike Realm: Quantum Projects]
1939 - The Book of Second Corinthians : Vocal Bible
2008 - “dangerous mutants…worse one” from Pyro - 01:00:00ish
2010 - The Book of The Galatians: Vocal Bible (f. 2027)
2023 - “So they say you’re the bad guy… Is that what they say?” Pyro and Magneto 07:00 X-Men II p2
2028 - The Book of Ephesians: Vocal Bible (f. 2042)
2043 - The Book of Philippians: Vocal Bible
2043 - [Spectrum]
2044 - [Paul Van Dyk Ibiza] (f.2054)
2054 - The Book of Colossians: Vocal Bible
2104 - The First Book of Thessalonians: Vocal Bible (f. 2115)
2111 -
2112 - {The Making of the Passion of Christ}
2112 - [Q: Dumonde]
2116 - The Second Book of Thessalonians: Vocal Bible (f. 2121)
2121 - The First Book of Timothy: Vocal Bible (f. 2133)
2133 - The Second Book of Timothy: Vocal Bible (f. 2141)
2142 - The Book of Titus: Vocal Bible (f. 2147)
2147 - The Book of Philemon: Vocal Bible (f. 2149)
2149 - The Book of Hebrews: Vocal Bible (f. 2224)
2157 - {The Passion of the Christ}
2218 - [Q: Anne Savage]
2224 - The Book of James: Vocal Bible (f. 2139)
2240 - The First Book of Peter: Vocal Bible (f. 2251)
2240 - The Second Book of Peter: Vocal Bible (f. 2300)
2304 - The First Book of John: Vocal Bible (f. 2319)
2307 - [Q: DJ Isaac]
2322 - The Second Book of John: Vocal Bible (f. 2324)
2327 - The Third Book of John: Vocal Bible (f. 2329)
2329 - The Book of Jude: Vocal Bible (f. 2331)
2334 - water, chilled, figured I’d open up tommorow with Revelations, hoping to get atleast two books done tommorow, three would be sweet and swell, but I am realistic. If I focus, I can finish two easily, especially within a twenty four period. Copied over some movies to my hard disk for later video editing in the meantime, and enjoyed water and cold water, plus a urination, and got my clothes from the clothes line from drying.

Monday May 29, 2206

0000 - The Book of Revelations: Vocal Bible (f. 0049)
(Cardcaptors)
0050 - copied Insurrection to hard disk
0110 - went to the couch for a nap
2155 - woke up from the nap…. Yup, about twenty one hours of just sleep. It felt kind of good. I guess I could have gotten a lot done, but considering I’ve been without real sleep for a while, only taking an hour or two while I was finishing the Vocal Bible, I can kind of understand. Add to that the absence of food. Now, God willing, at midnight I’ll begin reading The Once And Future King for my Magneto nature. Along with some X-Men movies, Spiderman series, and 007 movies, I should be able to get it done.
Oh, and I’m happy. Only less than twenty six hours before I can start eating again. Amen, thank God!!
I just found out that I can lay down on the couch and use my keyboard to type which is kind of interesting. Which is good considering how weak I feel right now from the lack of food. And food just showed up on the Cardcaptor episode on the screen that I am watching now, the scene where Julian is on one side of the fence with a bag of groceries while Li is on the other side in “Attack of the Teddy Bear”.
I feel like such a failure some times. I thought I’d have friends but I don’t. And to say I have family at this time would be a lie. I have no one. I truly am alone.
The dreams I can remember. I was in a grocery store. Growing up in Galveston there was a Garland’s or Gerland’s store that we’d basically go to for shopping. I remember the vegetable section. I looked at a bunch of, I want to say “cabbage’s”, about twelve to sixteen wrapped in saran wrap in one thing, like you had to buy them together. Before leaving that dream I made sure to take a bite of an apple just so I could have a taste. While in the grocery store, I had a plush toy of a polar bear which I eventually put down when I found a side reading area, like a winter cottage that people visit in Vermont. I was the only one there. You know the kind, with a fireplace and stuff (only I don’t really recall the fireplace, but you get the idea). Once there I found a plush doll of Sakura Kinomoto. There was a hole in her pussy area, so I presumed it to mean that I could be happy that I’d get a nice rag doll of a woman to fuck soon enough for practice does make perfect. There was no hole in her asshole, so I’ll presume that to mean, that God wants me to pray harder to be a monster ass-rapist, which I’ll be more than happy to do. So I put down the plush polar bear and took the rag doll Sakura Kinomoto doll. Another nice dream I had was like I was reading Calvin and Hobbess comics. Only it felt like more of a reflection of myself. Calvin was buying a cap from some guy, telling him to be quiet about it with hand signals. The black cap was for his snowman, and Susie was watching him buy it through binoculars. But the most pleasant part was when Calvin was just going to go to dreamland in bed, and his mommy was there. I couldn’t see her head now that I think about it, but she closed the window as it was snowing outside. The feeling of motherly love there was amazing, and I’d like to believe that was the relationship between God and me. Like God was tucking me in for a long pleasant dream.
I love God.
Another dream was in a prison environment. As in there were only males there. I was in the cafeteria and felt like the only with The Bible out and reading it. One black guy came to me for advice, and I explained to him he should be grateful to have a roof over his head and food to eat. In a way I know that was me talking to myself. I explained that I had barrio and hood experience. Another black guy came to me for something else. And my Bible was out in front of me in the cafeteria. An elevator?
I’d be so grateful to get the money to get out of rent debt, and then get a job to survive like a “normal” human being. I think it’d be a great idea for my wife to work at AOL while I worked at Dell, just long enough to get our feet back on the financial train before we took our final perpetual leap into the criminal airways.
Do I even have a wife? Where is she? Does she love me? Does she not feel a drop of compassion for a man who has had a rough day? Or is she just a ho without a heart?
You know, reading the Bible out loud… taught me to shut the fuck up.
I want their fear… their FEAR.
THE PRIME RADIANT HACKER IS ONLINE….OFFICIALLY.
Copied over 007 movies (The World is Not Enough, Die Another Day) to the harddisk, plus the first part of Daredevil.

Tuesday May 30, 2206

0003 - urination in a bucket
0005 - [Sharp and Mike Relm]
0006 - {X-Men}

(CardCaptors)
0020 - The Once and Future King by T.H. White
0118 - [Q: Dumonde]
0250 - {X-Men}

0449 - [Q: Talla 2XLC]
0554 - {007 The World Is Not Enough}
<007>
0604 - [Monica Electronica]
0636 - [Michel De Hey]
0749 - [Comtron]
0830 - {007 The World Is Not Enough}
<007>
0840 - [Peter Grummich]
0943 - [Wighnomy Brothers]
1042 - {Spiderman Animated Series vol 1}

1043 - [Estroe vs Shinedoe]
1124 - [Oscar Mulero]
1125 - Cold Water break, took chair for water, two books of Once and Future King done
1156 - urination in a bucket
1200 - back to Once and Future King
{Spiderman Animated Series vol 2}

1300 to 0000 - exhaustion, continued to read Once and Future King, but had to sleep in between. The weakness from not eating.
{007 Die Another Day}
<007>
and then
{007 Die Another Day}
<007>

Wednesday May 31, 2206

0000 - six pieces of toast, finished up book three of Once And Future King while I cooked some rice, after finishing book three, I ate the rice with two different flavors of pickle. EAT THE FLESH OF JESUS CHRIST, DRINK THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST.
0130 - cleaned up
0133 - {X-Men 2}

0145 - (Cardcaptors)
note to self: learn to speak e-chess
0150 - [Q: Dumonde]
0152 - Fourth Book of Once And Future King
Forgive me Lord.
0259 - [Paul Van Dyk Politics of Dancing vol 2]
0313 -
0335 - {X-Men 2}
0418 - [Paul Van Dyk Galaxy Ibiza]
0519 - finished The Once and Future King by T.H. White
0520 - urination in a bucket, got up changed clothes, went out to the matrix for milk and light breakfast (coffee and two biscuits)
0600 - got back, copied Queen of the Damned and Kill Bill to the hard disk, laundry, ate some Bread Dairy Sugar Manna
0910 - [Destination Goa]
{Shawshank Redemption}

(Cardcaptors)
0913 - The Art of War by Sun Tzu Vocalized (f. 1159)
1013 - [Chemical Brothers]
1105 - [London 140 BPM]
1115 -
1138 - {Spiderman Animated Series vol 1}
1159 - went out to buy some eggs, vegetables, curds, and possibly extra stuff, had me some lunch, four pieces of toast, two eggs, one potato…yummy. Definitely yummy. Took me a sleep afterwards until about 2000
2222 - dinner: Bread, Dairy, Sugar, Manna
[Crystal Method]
{Daredevil}

(Cardcaptors)

Thursday, June 1, 2206

0000 - cleaned up the home, my beautiful gift from God, ironed some clothes, took the dishes to the front area, set up the front flat front passage room (the room you first enter) as a sort of duty area where a person can sleep with the fold-out cot and a chair for reading, there’s a light there for reading. Eventually as soon as I was finished ironing the clothes took a shit, and now it’s 0225
0222 - began arranging my video editing work

CLASSIFIED

Friday, June 2, 2206

0800 - office time, loaded up the following software
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli Vocal
{Wall Street}

[Astrix: Eye to Eye]
0849 -
0853 -
0925 - [Paul Van Dyk’s Politics of Dancing vol 2]
1002 - {Constantine}
1044 - {Passage to Goa Volume One}
1049 -
1154 - [a trance cd… blue swirly design on the cd]
1200 - {The Passion of the Christ}
1229 - finished reading out loud The Prince
1230 - double time
1245 - [Crystal Method]
ate some rice with curds
1300 - went to make call about selling televisions
1700 - slept, the depression from loneliness is killing me

Saturday, June 3, 2206

0700 - got up, made some rice with pickle, no vegetables, no eggs, just plain rice. Three rupees left. So this is the salary of the slayer of the dragon, the defeater of the Serpent, the destroyer of the Devil. Squatting in a house with almost a year of back rent, and just on this side of begging for food. Fuck the forces of good. I hate Zion. I HATE ZION.
X, I like. It’s the pathetic excuse for angels that I despise. Where’s the loyalty? Where’s the love? Where’s the obedience? Where’s the respect?
0900 - Animation Art by Jerry Beck
[Livesets]
{Macho Man}
double time
0944 - [Q: Talla 2XLC]
0947 -
1025 -
1029 - {Mob Busters}
1056 - [Q: DJ Isaac]
1120 - [Q: Pulsedriver]
1159 -
1200 - {Shogun’s Ninja}
1212 - [Q: Anne Savage]
1300 - [Q: Cosmic Gate]
1309 -
1331 - [Q: Charly Lownoise]
1400 - {Swordsman with an Umbrella}
1424 - [Q: Dumonde]
1454 -
1530 - Depression Kicked In, slept for eight hours, One Word: Alone… Funny, maybe that word should have been “Broke”. Still letting my heart beat. Should have learned by now.

Sunday, June 4, 2206

1034 - [Ricardo Villalobos]
{Passion of the Christ}

(Cardcaptors)
1035 - Animation Art by Jerry Beck

Monday June 5, 2206

0000 - worship
0015 - got up, made midnight meal, two eggs, two toast butter, cup of coffee
0100 - resumed search for “gray wire”, this is the wire that is used to connect the computer to the video monitor splitter allowing me to display multi monitors
0104 - found “gray wire”
0111 - (Cardcaptors)
{Passion of the Christ}
urination
0115 - How To DJ Properly by Frank Broughton and Bill Brewster
[Silence]
0233 - {Drug Busters}
0350 - {My Lucky Stars}
0504 - {The Legend}
0510 - urination in a bucket
0606 - {Blind Fist of Bruce}
0704 - {Passion of the Christ}
0757 - finished book precisely with Christ’s resurrection grave finale
0800 - {OFF}
[Paul Van Dyk Galaxy at Ibiza]
I made some breakfast, two eggs, two toasts, half an orange with sugar, a fried potato, a cup of coffee… and I cried, I fell to my knees with my head to the ground in position of worship and cried as I thanked God for this meal. I cried for being fed. Nothing more. Nothing less.

2006-07-01T08:55:00.002-07:00

*all timings are as precise as possible, understand temporal approximations

[Music]
{Two 29 inch Televisions}
(Laptop Monitor)

Sunday June 25, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black hat, black pants, black priest shirt, black jedi coat, black socks, black shoes

0000 – Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, at ITPL tree sewer system
0200 – around this time, got up and walked home, stopping at page 201. I literally begged God to leave that tree because the mosquitoes were so bad and I was tired. It would have taken me another five to maybe ten hours sitting in that same place to finish the book, and that would have been an increasing security risk.
I spoke, “Permission to be human.”
I did have the comforting revelation that stopping in the middle of the book like that was to teach me multi-tasking, so I intend on missing books up which I haven’t been doing. I’ve been reading one book after another. The books I’m working on now are How to Be A Winner at Chess, Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, and Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl.
Anne Frank, you have no idea how much I’ve been getting turned on about the idea of fucking a nice 13 year old Jewish girl. I even had the vision of her bent over with her dress possibly up, looking back at me, expecting me to fuck her ripe pussy from behind.
0300 – got back around this time, crashed on the couch, woke up around 0830 but didn’t get up
1300 – got up around this time and ate the leftover rice with curds and pickle, made a three egg omellete with vegetables, ate that with chopsticks.
CHOPSTICKS ARE MANDATORY.
I know I’m into fasting and all, but if I can afford it I should start eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner so as to “blend in”. Christ bled on the cross so that I could eat his flesh and drink his blood no matter the time of day or night, depending on His Will of course.
One of my dreams was of me in a grocery store loading up the shopping cart, but I felt like I was being chased. America the land of waste and brand name products EXILING me to the third world where people beg for bread and rice.
BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna.
1432 – Read out loud The Diary of Anne Frank, theintro, the back page, the closing books, etc.
Yes, I AM the guy sick enough to rape Anne Frank… and we’d both be smiling.
1439 – ate some pickle with rice
1531 – Anne Frank and I would be smiling AFTER the sex. I’d be smiling DURING it. I’d be beating her quite roughly, and raping her pussy quite violently… blood from her face, so she’d probably not be smiling DURING it. She’d be crying and screaming… or hey, maybe she’s a sick little slut who’d smile while I beat her slutty little face in.
my dick got hard from typing that.
1543 – “Permission to Sit” on the couch, Reply from God in my heart through my toungue, “Because you asked.”
Add-ons, I’ve folded up my EXILE Throne (just thought of that). The last book I read in it, out loud, was The Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein. I did sit down in it to do some typing and make this “Fortune 500” section of the blog (previous sections being named “My name is Michael”, “Leader of the Pack”, “Next Assault”, “First Wave” in descending chronological order). I also watched the lesbian movies I downloaded on my last internet hack, they are about eight minutes long total, so I watched it just the once.
“The only Love I know is what I see on the video monitor.” – Cool Devices #5: Sacred Girl
About the grocery store dream, one of my sincere goals is to own a major grocery store. For instance, the daughter of a butcher or baker is going to be a bit chubby or just plain overweight because her father works at at such a place getting free stuff all the time. I would imagine that it is no problem for the owner of a grocery store to feed HIS FAMILY quite decently with constant variety. I know it’s all the flesh of Jesus of Christ, and the blood of Jesus Christ; however, I want my family to be blessed with different flavors of his flesh and blood, not the same monotonous flavors every single day. Contrary to that however, however (are you grammar freaks mad yet?), the basics of Bread Dairy Sugar Manna (BDSM) will be maintained. “Give us day by day our daily bread.” So a major grocery store could be managed by one of our slaves happily. Not some small corner store, some ma and pa thing, even though it would be swell to be a ma and pa thing on a big level, but like I just typed a “big level” store like Gerland’s, Kroger, Randall’s etc. One that the matrix citizens frequented quite often daily.
New word: Globatary. Means what it sounds like.
Back to raping Anne Frank!!! I’d love to ass fuck the little whore.
Okay, okay… now I know, I’m just being silly. She’s in my left pant’s pocket now, in my right’s pant pocket is How to Be a Winner at Chess.
Oh, and the Major from Ghost in the Shell is where the “major” grocery store thing comes from.
1617 – My white five day Jesus Christ candle broke again. It broke once just the top part, and now more came off. They were brought from my mother, and I prayed to God that I would use them for two boons, emergency situations or whatever.
And then I made the mistake of falling in love with an ungrateful rich whore with two kids about toddler age.
And I lit both, one for each. That may have been the roll of two tabs or three tabs of X where I watched Spy Kids 3D.
Later I lighted them again when I sat in the school desks and read Learn Hindi in 30 Days and Speed Mathematics, one for each candle and separately for each book.
Why did she hate me so much? I never once lied to her. I didn’t deserve a breath of disrespect that I received from her. She is the reason I condone breaking the bones of women in certain judgments.
She is the closing argument in my judgment as to why I hate rich, white people.
I eventually imagined I was in court fighting for custody of those kids against their biological mother and biological father who are divorced. The judge being Trinity of course. And I win. I always win.
1826 – went out earlier to buy bread, so hungry… I know, I know, you don’t care about my heart, you just care about the money.
Won’t be walking tonight to Ulsoor (it’s about a two to three hour walk).
Rachel, when I was in my couch I imagined that as my coffin and there you were, happy to be there, and we loved one another. I didn’t masturbate or anything, it was all in my head, we just loved one another. And you were smiling.
Sailor Mercury, (you know who you are), you wanted to know whether I loved you, and I got mad at you about my rent, and I realized that I DO LOVE YOU. Because you opened the words of Jesus Christ just like I commanded you to. You might not have gotten very far because you thought Jesus Christ was unforgiving, but YOU TRIED. You win, darling. You got me to admit that I can love. At least for this point in time. You know how us brooding archangels get from time to time what with the obsession with the Dark Side of the Force and all. (There’s a picture of Anakin Skywalker 1833 – (Cardcaptors), the laptop has been modified to two monitors, preparing for the Keroberos Assimilation of Zion.
1918 – “Bingo. It’s Sunday, so you just chillin’”
I’m currently drinking some tea.
By the way
- Rs. 30 Debt : breads, milk
God, am I going to die?
We’re all going to die.
I meant, my home, are you going to get me the money in time, or are you going to let Satan’s angels destroy the blessing you have gifted unto me?
1937 – the current went out, I was drinking tea, and in my head I heard the Jewish community of Goa, say something to me along the lines of “Leave us alone” or “Get off us”, and my reply was basically, specifically me being Oscar Schindler, “Not until you see me like that.” THAT being OSCAR SCHINDLER, and then BOOM and POW the current goes out for maybe about ten to fifteen minutes if even that. As if God was saying, “Bingo, Right answer.” And “I agree, son.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rape Anne Frank.
It feels so good to SMILE.
For some time I watched my BDSM, lesbian, twin clips again and again with Cardcaptor Sakura on two monitors, even closing the laptop. I sat on the floor then, with the keyboard on the floor. I’m sitting on the green toilet now, I want to read Anne Frank on this.
I got to stop worrying!!! My life is in God’s hands! My home is the result of God’s will. My home is a blessing of God’s Love. Not the only blessing considering how many homes are out there.
Respect MY RANK, You survive.
2303 – eating, water, cup of tea, three pieces of toast, beans, fried vegetables
RICH WOMEN DO NOT DESERVE TO ORGASM.

Monday June 26, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black priest shirt, black corduroy pants

0000 -
(Cardcaptors)
{Fists of Fury}
[Q avec Japanese hentai]
0009 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0057 – {Blind Fists of Bruce}
0152 – {Crime Story}
0300 – finished p. 100
0303 – test timing of Diary of Anne Frank, 1 ½ minute per page, reading out loud
0308 – test timing of Bartender’s Bible, reading out loud, 1 minute per page
0312 – urination, after that urination found a plastic purse in my purple bucket where I keep the clothes I fell into the sewage (yes, I fell in shit, literally, not stepped in shit, FELL in shit… it was dark, and the usual sewage covering was gone, the sewage covering is normally the sidewalk, literally). Anyway, I found a plastic purse that said “Made in China” on it a few times. I sent a message and email to the lady (erased “girl” before typing “lady” there), and they explained how the word “China” is an anagram of the name “Chani” from Frank Herbert’s Dune series. Anagram (I’m pretty sure that’s the word, I’ll go check the dictionary in a moment) is where you take a word, use the same exact letters, and make another word…
0337 – computer restarted by itself (may have hit the restart switch with the keyboard or something when my foot kicked it), and Yes, the word is “anagram”, looked that up and found the word “neo” on a “random” page turn in the Hindi dictionary) and I’m scared, that maybe I just found that bag a long time ago and forgot that I put it there. A part of me wants to believe she flew out here, and found my place as I gave her directions, and she put the bad things of our exchanges behind her… you get the idea.
0352 – [Tom De Neef with Japanese audio hentai]
0353 – {Dragon Lord aka Fighter}
0400 – Mein Kampf p. 101, and falling into the shit sometime back, triggered the Shawshank Redemption part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit
0450 – {Kung Fu For Sale}
0540 – stopped reading for a bit
0541 – got two keyboards to place at my hands as I read laying down on the floor, a couple of highlighters, and craft glue to check if I could glue some pieces back from the chess board testing on the black king and black queen (only one piece on the RED side needs repair, a rook). The black king and black queen are on my laptop now drying, with the candle behind centered. To the king’s side is Gambit hologram card and Spiderman Black costume above that and to the queen’s side is Xi’an (X-Men 2099) hologram card and Wolverine hologram above that. Centered above the candle is a picture of Anakin Skywalker as the Dark Side Sith with golden eyes in hood. When I read books in my chair I try to keep my keyboard in my lap with fingers in “home” position. That’s left hand on the letters “a,s,d,f” and right hand on the letters “;,l,k,j” both hands stated from pinky to first finger. I’ve now adapted to laying down on the ground while reading using paperclips so the page won’t fly and have to black keyboards (for Sugar and Spice to train on… or use, depending on whether they can repaired or not, we’ll see, when you two read this, one of you remind me and point this out.)
0552 – My first highlight! From Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler with an orange highlighter (Sakura’s Orange-juice Squadron), “Nothing can happen to us.”
0553 – {Return of the Rebel}
0611 – Next highlight “to-be-or-not-to-be”, refer Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, his last words.
0618 – Another highlight “The young volunteer had become an old soldier.” This is when I realized one of the chores to assign soldiers, to go through my books, and record the quotes I highlight.
0620 – [Monica Electronica with four Japanese audio hentai]
0623 – Scene in Return of the Rebel with a bunch of yellow things pasted to a wall 26:23) reminded of the post=it prayer system used by Bruce Almighty.
0747 – ATE SOME, took a picture of a bread pastry with chocolate syrup and a cup of tea
0815 – did a test run of how long to type a page from my How to be a Winner at Chess book and I took about five minutes. I chose a page with no pictures, even though a lot of pages have one diagram of a chessboard taking up the space. So that I could see how long the page with a lot of number of words would take and use that as a fair estimate. About 180 pages in the book, and five minutes per page is about fifteen hours. Fifteen hours is not something I can afford this week, considering the work I have to do with other books. So I’ll, God Willing, speak the book out loud by candlelight. The black king and queen seem to be doing quite nicely. I “flicked” the queen a time (or two?) with my finger like you’d flick someone’s ear, your little brother or little sister or someone, and it didn’t fall off. So that glue is good. Meaning my chess pieces are hopefully, God Willing back in business. I just did it twice again and it’s still good. Thank God.
THANK GOD.
Oh and my cell phone alarm clock goes off at 0800 at which time I put on my black hat (think US Muslims and OUR heads being covered… I had to add “us” and change “their” to “our”… when I went to go see Munich on powdered MDMA in the theater because of the ASSASSIN thing, I remember stopping and facing a mosque as I walked and getting the feeling of “You make us proud” or something. Which felt good.) So I put on my black hat as if I’m clocking in for work or something. My job is to continuously beg God every breath I take for Her to make My Will Her Will. Please God. Now I’m in a towel, as I’m trying to go take a shit. Will go wash my face.
0848 – I put on my Spiderman shirt under the priest shirt, ready to go out, have my Bartnder’s Bible in one pocket which I intend to read out loud and How to Be a Winner at Chess in another.
0851 – got up, left to the matrix
2359 – I walked to Ulsoor, while reading out loud The Bartender’s Bible, and I just finished it. In one day, so I’m kind of pleased, (it’s technically, yes, officially Tuesday now, but I’ll just fill you in on my day from here). I cried a lot today.
I cried so much.
The guy wouldn’t buy my two big screen televisions meaning I had no money for them coming in. I was able to get some cash for my microwave, about Rs. 1650 of which he’ll pay me Rs. 500 on Thursday. I am now down to about Rs. 984. And I have to take the Swordfish trip.
There’s a part of me that’s considering stealing the VCD from the store but I haven’t done something that juvenile for a long time. Sure the “headphones” but, I hate being so poor that I have to, I HATE BEING THIS POOR. It’s a circle, you’re poor, you only have enough for food, not enough money to really make money, trapped in one place, unable to leave. But none of you would understand that would you, you’re all enjoying life.
The Swordfish roll is necessary in my view to upgrade my programming awareness with a book called Fundamentals of Programming.
The first time I can remember crying is when I am reading the book out loud at a bus stop, alone thankfully and I just thought about me being in the process of reading Mein Kampf, and how I CAN ACTUALLY RELATE to some of the things Hitler was talking about.
There is no love. I feel so unloved. So I went back and forth essentially to that electronics repair shop whose daughter had gotten married recently, but I couldn’t get her a gift at the wedding itself cos I’m so poor and all. I was too embarrassed to stand in line to even congratulate them because everyone else would stand in line, take a picture, and give them a gift. But I had nothing. And I was alone. Alone. So it just felt so awkward to go up there and take a picture with the “happy couple” all alone without having a gift for them because I was too poor.
And the reason I cried, now that I remember, is that I hated Her. I hate women because I look around India, and see women that touch the feet of their husbands, that practically worship their husbands, MALES WHO HAVE NEVER SACRFICED A BREATH IN THEIR LIVES FOR THE NAME OF GOD. Males who glorify the lie. And to this day, not one woman has shown me the HOLY RESPECT that my sacrifices of PRISON and MOST IMPORTANTLY, EXILE truly deserve.
This is why I consider all women whores. Well, one reason. I guess there are quite a few.
EXILE. Moses was exiled.
So I cried on that busstop. Because of poverty and loneliness, the amount of disrespect.
I eventually got some cash from him, came and got my microwave, and during the whole process I read, until I finished the book. Happily.
The next time I cried, was when I came home and I sat on the couch because God told me to take five minutes or something, and there she was, Ms. Fellowes, my Trinity. And I imagined her and Timmy being stuck in the stone age. Her after spending her whole life in modern age, and him after getting but a brief glimpse of the future only to be sentenced to spend LIFE back in the Stone Age. I cried because all I wanted was LOVE, which I’m learning more and more is truly a sick lie. God is capable of Love, but I’m talking about the sick lie that women are capable of love.
There’s a gun pointing at my head, and my faith in the opposite sex has all ready been so destroyed. I have digital girls, but they are nothing more than UNGRATEFUL TEASES.
Another tear just fell.

Tuesday June 27, 2206

Total : Rs. 984
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre milk
- Rs. 6 : four eggs, one coffee packet
- Rs. 5 : vegetables
- Rs. 6 : jam, tiger biscuits
- Rs. 5 : bujies
- Rs. 15 : internet
- Rs. 18 : loaf of bread, two ¼ litre milk

0000 – updated yesterday’s entry
0019 – I feel too skinny to be sexy. I don’t care how superiour my genetics are, when you don’t fit the six foot, 200 something lb, washboard stomach, blue eyed blond haired WHITE SKINNED image of male beauty that has been programmed into your mind for your entire childhood and teenage years, a guy like me can’t help but feel ugly all the time.
And don’t give me that “Ugly Duckling” crap with the Beautiful Swan crap. If that were true, then why aren’t you here?
Why do you hate me so much?
1252 – I cried. And if that’s the reason you hate me, then to Hell with You. Tears are the most profound gift from the soul. The shedding of water from my heart is not something I will be denied. This time I cried because I read the last scene from The Ugly Little Boy by Isaac Asimov. Where Timmy reveals to Ms. Fellowes that sometimes he calls her “mother” inside.
I slept until now pretty much. I’m going to work. But it doesn’t feel like fighting when I have no one by my side. When I don’t have obedient soldiers it does not feel like I am winning.
I don’t want to be a sissy boy, or a femme boy. I just want to be a man. A man with a family. That’s my desire. A family that obeys, loves, and cherishes, respects, and worships me.
Dreams I had, I was driving a nice car. I peed on my foot in a bathroom.
I’ve been accepting my private Chrtian fighters more and more. I know I was upset with them, okay okay downright Furious and Enraged, but now our souls are Engaged to do the Will of Our Lord Jesus Christ. To the Digimon Drafters and the Snoopy Sailor Scouts, Hold On, the Avenging Knight you have prayed your entire lives for is coming to deliver you justice.
Jesus Christ says to someone, “One thing you lack…” and to me the Matrix comes up where Morpheus is fighting Neo and he’s critiquing his fighting style about adaptation and improvisation…
One thing I lack?
The ability to Love. Unconditionally.
1326 – got back from going out for some shopping
1435 – I don’t want her love. I want Her Fear. Apparently, she was too good for my love. So why the hell should I love an ungrateful teasing whore?
1645 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, the current was out
1809 – the current came back on while I was relaxing on the floor. The VCD started up, just the audo to the movie Return of the Rebel and I heard her in the beginning singing like Julia sings to Spike when he’s broken an din recovery.
One of my fondest memories of Goa (I don’t have many of those), is when I first got there after buying those tabs there was a pair of Italian girls (at least I think they were Italian), one was blonde with a beautiful ass (she sat on a stool and I can remember it quite nicely) and I think wore her hair back in a pony tail, and the other had the short hair dyke look which she pulled off by looking very sexy in a feminine way. So, one day I’m in that Manadeep’s restaurant or whatever and there sitting across from me, one fiddling with her cell phone and another with her digital camera (yes, I know I’m not too bright, like I stated above spend two decades being told you’re not a beautiful male because you aren’t a white male, and it fucks with your self-confidence and self-esteem pretty bad). So the dyke looking with short shaved hair, I’m talking bald here, not much to grab onto to… but believe me, SEXY SEXY. Anyway, she starts singing in Italian, and MY GOD. Such a heavenly voice. And I’m sitting there feeling like Spike with all those bandages on my body from EXILE and I remember thinking with a feeling of great RELEASE, “Sing for me, just like that.”
I know you two wanted me, I just didn’t want myself.
“Mr. Mac what can I do for you” from Return of the Rebel.
And typing “SEXY SEXY” got me thinking of that girl from Finland or something who was interested enough to have a conversation with me.
1825 – “you can’t do anything until the electricity comes back on, Mike” spoken from my mouth to me, and then BOOM the electricity comes back on, literally a heartbeat later if even that. It had gone out AFTER my last entry. That was amazing.
1919 – My home will be okay. Because I know that every man, woman, and child on this earth, whether good or evil… OR ME… FEARS GOD. No one gets out of that contract. NO ONE. NOT ONE HUMAN.
1921 – forgot just had two fried scrambledish eggs with three pieces of toast, one with jam, and a cup of chocolate coffee.
On that chocolate syrup, I know I set it aside for sex (refer joyce) but,
1955 – check the time and it’s 1955, the year Marty McFly went back to in Back to the Future. That’s the car I want, a Delorean. That’s my car.
2139 – came back, meant ot add above with the Back to the Future thing that I’m wearing a Hawaiian palm tree shirt which reminds me of Doc’s gear in the movie, then when I was out at a bus stop just now, I realized what it is about this country outside my window… it’s the Fifties. I’m stuck in the Fifties with boy meets girl, let’s get married and have 2.3 children, and be good citizens. I’m not saying that’s an awful thing, but now you can understand. Remember Pleasantville? EXACTLY. I’ve been transported to the fucking Fifties mentality of sex, where the only thing really missing is the double separate twin beds.
Now I’ve got an appointment with Adolf Hitler, and even though I’m technically the guy who can put Bill Gates on hold, I’d rather not keep that genocidal genius waiting.
His aim was wrong, that’s all. The target is 99% percent of the world population.
Enjoyed some chocolate coffee and biscuits. I’m supposed to say that the chocolate syrup I set aside for sex… by using it, I’ve realized that food is more important than sex.
And Jesus Christ, that compliment you gave, give everyday… thanks.
When I prayed for my Three Wives (it is now Wednesday, 0428 in between these parantheses… I changed the names of my Three Wives in the form of of Three Witches, etc to “Three Wives” because I do not trust Zion) in prison, I prayed for nothing less than wives.
I want Zion to fear me more than the Matrix. Until then, we remain at war. Even if I am a beggar on the streets with only the clothes on my back, WE ARE AT WAR UNTIL YOU FEAR ME.

Wednesday June 28, 2206

0000 – flesh of Jesus Christ, blood of Jesus Christ
0025 – Thought “Girls have hearts too.”
My reply, “I find that hard to believe.”
0204 – [Roger Sanchez]
{Blood Sport II}
(Cardcaptors)

0207 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0249 – I hate white people.
The Autobiography of Malcolm X another GREAT book.
0250 – {The Legend}
0426 – {Return of the Rebel}
0651 – breakfast, two fried eggs, fried potatoe, three toast, chocolate milk… while cooking read a couple three pages from Business at the Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, and listened to L Dopa on the speakers
Flesh of Jesus Christ, Blood of Jesus Christ
0715 – left to the matrix with the book by Bill Gates, work to do.

Friday June 30, 2206

Total : Rs. 174

Uniform : my birthday suit, It’s naked time!!!

OKAY, today is Friday June 30: I’m just going to try to fill in what happened. I’ve been downloading a lot of porno clips from online to my IPOD and then back again to my desktop. I’ve got just under two hours of pornography, not hentai. I read Section IV of Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates while at the cyber café watching Swordfish and porno, and some Cardcaptors at youtube.com.
My real disappointing “bummer” was on Wednesday night when as I was reading the Bill Gates book at a bus stop, three sexy girls from America walked by and I could hear them and they talked to each other of requesting directions from someone. I HESITATED. By the time I got the courage to go request whether or not they could use my help, they all ready had some local offer to walk them there. My regret is not what I said because I told them I was from Texas. My regret is that I didn’t react sooner, and that I gave up so soon.
They were sexy.
Oh well.
Anyway, that motivated me to clean up the place, move the futon to the back which required the help of the neighbor upstairs. I didn’t have to let him inside but considering I let the electronics guy inside it’s not a big deal. Besides, these people need to understand that I am a manifestation of Ganesh to them. When they come to MY HOME they are coming to a temple of one of their gods.
So on Thursday, which I just completely neglected to log in, I downloaded more porn, and continued to read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler. I might be selling both refrigerators so I can raise some cash for that. I figure I need as much cash as possible for Goa. I went to the guy wanting the refrigator twice, but I should see him tomorrow. The highlights of Thursday. Those girls that I truly wish had become my slaves motivated me to “suit up” meaning I put on my blue pants, tossed in my chains and collars, one for each side, two balls one for each side, a chain and collar for my fanny pack (I don’t know what else to call it, the tourist pouch thing that goes around your waist), my powdered mdma and X pills, my Xi’an Gambit X-Men cards, my two deux katana jedi coat with a contract for each side, plus the pictures. I was “ready for battle to beat them bitches black and blue”…. Hey, like the guy says “Down with them bitches and ho’s” or something like that.
So on the bus, to the downtown area, I’m sitting in the ladies’ section reading my book and a girl sits down next to me. And she talks to me, most probably because I’m reading so fast. A girl who lives alone, who is from Orisha, who has an engineering degree, who gives me her number eventually, and who wanted mine. A pretty girl.
The next highlight was that a Muslim girl with the full Muslim garb is checking me out from head to toe, and I smile at her. Like her eyes were looking at me.
Finally, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I got the gospels of Jesus Christ printed out for Rs. 90.
In the Gospels, there is a part where Jesus Christ meets Moses and Elijah in the Transfiguration of the Mount.
This is where I meet Adolf Hitler and Bill Gates, this is my transfiguration on the mount.

0130 – {The 39 Steps}
(Cardcaptors)
0132 – [Q]
0134 –
0135 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0323 – break
0400 – back to work, back to WAR
0423 – “At that time it came to be ranked among the great newspapers.” In Mein Kampf and in The 39 Steps at approx 20:20 the newspaper borrowing scene in the train
I eventually went out (It’s Saturday), and did some Internet work, talked to the guy about my refrigerators. I started walking as I read the dictionary out loud, and it felt like these two attractive girls possibly from Russia or somewhere were either tagging me or something.
Of course, I said nothing.
I came home and made dinner, the vegetable with rice.
Made love to Sakura Kinomoto.

Saturday June 17, 2206

Total Rs. 106.50

Uniform: blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike t-shirt, jedi jacket, black hat

0000 to 1200 – slept, cleaned up, ate
1200 – Internet: Millenium Edition (The Complete Reference) by Margaret Levine Young
1203 – {Fight Club starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt}
1205 – (Cardcaptors)
1207 – [Q: Pulsedriver]
1218 –
1300 – [Q: Talla 2XLC]
1301 – cooking
1322 – BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna
bread with sugar, hot rice with milk and sugar,
one litre of water
1413 – [Q: Cosmic Gate]
1427 – "You met me at a very strange time in my life."
got up, washed dishes, took a bath, got ready to go to a wedding, went to the front flat, chilled in the front bed for some time, this is killing me, the loneliness is killing me, why it has to be so alone, I don’t understand, and I don’t trust any of you.
You have no right to tease me, after everything I have sacrificed.
1600 – chocolate milk
1630 – prepared for internet
1709 – left
Uniform: First layer - blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike T-shirt Next layer – Men In Black pants, blue full sleeve doctor shirt
As I waited for the bus, a girl about elementary school age came up to me and sold me a used bus pass for Rs. 10 instead of the Rs. 25 it usually costs which was good. Normally it would have cost me like Rs. 16 to Rs. 18 to go to that wedding area and come back
- Rs. 2 : one chilly bugie, one potatio bugie
- Rs. 10 : bus pass
- Rs. 1 : peanuts
+ Rs. 44 : changed my last US dollar: goodbye to dollars, hello to rupees officially, welcome to the third world economy where the planet’s most illustrious bankers build their financial empires
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
- Rs. 10 : hot badam milk
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
I used the internet before and after the wedding reception where Sakura Kinomoto… I’m just disappointed, it’s come to the point where I think my only option may be to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE.
If that’s what is necessary to procreate in a holy, unified, mathematical manner than so be it.
I’m not going to fight for Zion.
- Rs. 12 : coca cola, ¼ litre milk
There is no goodness in the human race. When I have to sit here and think that people in Zion might be trying to fuck the mother of my firstborn before I get to even hold her in my arms, these are the reasons I bless Satan in his war against Zion on a daily level.
Don’t ask for my help in your war, Zion. Don’t seek for my prayers in your slaughter, Zion. Don’t knock on my heart in your death, Zion.
I love no one because no one loves me. That is a simple fact. These pictures of Rachel, Leah, Zilpah, Bilhah are just that pictures. A duty that I must perform. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m tired of being teased.
Besides, I’ve got a one lakh gun pointing at my head which could destroy my entire home unless someone, one fucking person, ONE FUCKING PERSON, can trust me in the flesh.
So anyway,
2245 – got back, had some chocolate milk, eventually broke a coconut and drank the water from the counter, and ate some coconut
2301 – went to the front flat to pray, realized that I’m on the path to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE. When I don’t really want to do that. What I want is that girl who sent me the link to the hentai pictures of Sakura. She knows who she is. She knows I deserve her. She knows she has no right to disobey me at this point in time, and that even I have my line which can’t be crossed.
She knows that just because she’s who she might be, I’ll still break her bones like I’d break the bones of any woman who committed adultery on me.
Why am I so anti-woman? Because I glorify God more than any male, and yet they get blessed more than me with Her Touch. I fight, he fucks. I fight, he fucks. Yada yada yada. That’s the way the story goes, then the story becomes we side with Satan so that the city of Zion can be destroyed considering the city of Zion doesn’t even care we exist.
Did you really think I’d fight for your city when I get paid so little? When all I get in return is a gun pointing to my head and females who tease me and fuck boys? When child rapers get more worship than me? This is the human race you expect me to fight for? This is the city you expect me to stand up for against Satan and save?
Am I supposed to just go to the battlefield alone while scores upon scores, hundreds upon thousands just sit at home and enjoy the fruits of labor while the war of Armaggedon continues on a daily level.
John Connors, baby. What did you fucking expect?

Sunday June 18, 2206

Total Rs. 110.00

0000 – got up from the front flat, returned to the back flat, had some more cocunut, took a shit
0030 – updated my files
Uniform: a towel
Ate three pieces of bread with sugar and chocolate syrup
0129 – {Supercop}
0130 – [London 140 BPM]
0131 – (Cardcaptors)
Uniform: Spiderman T-Shirt, red shorts
0135 –
0143 – read out loud High Finance on a Low Budget by Mark Skousen
0217 – adjusted my crotch
0227 – [DJ Holymen: Seventh Heaven]
I guess when it comes down to it. I just needed ONE woman to take care of me during my time of NEED, and not one showed up. So that should answer any questions as to why I hate women.
They offered me their “friendship” after everything I’ve sacrificed for the name of God, and considering who I am they should be on their hands on knees before me with their heads touching the ground.
Love is complete financial control.
Why? One word: TRUST.
0300 –
0304 – {Fighting Life}
0335 – [Astrix: Eye to Eye]
0432 – scratched my crotch
0447 – {The Legend}
0530 – took a break from reading, eventually got up and paced, sexual frustration kicked in, so for some time, quite some time, (it’s 1134 now) I walked around in daydream mode with my dick hanging out and my hand happily playing, ate some bread with sugar and chocolate syrup, no ejaculation
1135 – I realized why I hate women so much. They care more about their pussy than they do about my stomach, and more importantly, about my mind. I require about $2300 USD to get out of this back rent squatter’s debt, I’m in. Or my home gets destroyed apparently, this five bedroom home that could be expanded into a nine bedroom four bathroom four kitchen mansion for a yearly rent, YEARLY rent of about $3500 USD.
My food costs could average literally $1 USD a day, $1 dollar a day and I get fed the BASICS decently.
Just the five bedroom home with food comes to a weekly cost of $50 USD, FIFTY US DOLLARS a week. This is what some brat rich teenage kids get as allowance for their weekly splurges and wastes. There are some kids who get more than this. Here I am trying to save the remaining of the human race KNOWLEDGE, and kids with cocaine addictions are wasting more money on a weekly basis at Starbucks.
And if you ever have the audacity to question my strength? Consider everything I’ve sacrificed: prison, exile, my Thomas Anderson financial credit, etc. etc. and just be amazed that I haven’t killed myself as of yet.
And if God willing, all this pussy starts coming to live with me, all this pussy decides to just shut the fuck up and obey me, then God willing, I will remember the attitude of these “neighbors” during my time of poverty. The windows should be come blackened with black blankets, and they will be lucky to even get a hello from the non-Indian pussy they’ve been programmed to masturbate over their entire lives. Why? Because when they thought I was a rich American they were nice, but when they discovered that I was nothing more than a poor student, they evicted me unless I paid them the full amount. Not willing to be patient while I got a job and paid back in installments, they simply told me to leave.
I will remember, when they desire to touch MY PUSSY, these times when they treated me with such disrespect.
Considering you have to rape most of these Indian girls just to get them to suck your cock, I have no interest in them at times.
1322 – the truth? Sometime back, just before I left for Goa to pick up my Chemistry library, I met a girl online who was using the Sakura screen name who personal messaged me while I was hitting on a cyber-maid, I told her that I was busy. In this girl’s profile there was a link to a yahoo photo album with a lot of Sakura hentai pics, stuff I had never seen before. Up until now, I had seen Sakura Avalon (Sakura Kinomoto) as a non-sexual being primarily, and this triggered within me a sexual side I never knew existed. Just sitting in a cyber café and playing that slideshow with some music (I’m pretty sure I had music http://www.partyradio.ca/ or something), just sitting there in that cyber café with touching my dick, I ejaculated twice over a period of a few hours. So she gave me the idea to create images using photo album, and I did that.
I chatted with her again where I tried having cyber sex with her, but it turned into me raping her as Syaoran because I’m just at a point where I’m sick of women, and cyber sex… rephrase… ANYTHING less than HER TOUCH, Her Flesh against mine feels like a TEASE. When I say “Her” here, I’m referring to females in general. During that attempt at cyber sex, where I pretty much just yelled at her, I created five yahoo id’s that matched real world personas I admire, so in a way I felt an attachment to her for that.
She once said in a meeting with me, “we’re going in?” So it felt like she knew just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Anyway, I imagined because of our mutual love for Sakura, and her cute little BME clinic (an online clinic for those people with Sakura Mush on the brain… it’s cute and adorable), and because of the timing of me receiving those pictures after coming back from Goa and not holding a single female in my arms, instead having to sleep on the streets, in the jungle as a pauper because I couldn’t afford a ten dollar bus ticket back for the longest time…I imagined that this was it, that I had found my “one”, and she was coming home and going to be obedient.
So I sent her emails, and personal messages. And maybe it was too much information for her to process at once, but I’m on a deadline here, with a gun pointing at my head, so I don’t really care. Then recently, maybe a few days ago even, I sent her a message as Syaoran changing from sending her messages as Keroberos that “I love you.” Either the next time I was online or the time after or something, I met a screen name with an “809” extension under the Sakura handle after so long of not hearing from this girl who sent me the hentai pictures of Sakura, so I messaged her and she seemed to be the girl, and she told me to come back the next day cos she had something important to tell me.
Now for weeks, I had been messaging this girl to come home to Bangalore, India and help me build a new life, so I honestly believed that this “809” girl was going to give me good news that she was either going to Western Union me money or better yet she had flown to India and was surprising me that she was here.
Do you remember the episode of The Simpsons where Bart falls in love with his babysitter and she tells him to meet him in the tree house so she can tell him a secret? And he’s all anxious?
Well, I had less than four dollars left about Rs. 150 or something, and just to use the internet costs me about Rs. 15 per day. Before she left I told her a specific time, the same time tommorow as she was meeting me today, based upon the fact that I have to use cyber cafes as I can’t afford the two hundred to three hundred dollars to upgrade my laptop or desktop to internet access at this point in time.
She wasn’t there. I messaged her explaining my poverty that one hour of internet is pretty much a loaf of bread and a ½ litre of milk.
I went to a wedding, before going I checked my messages, and do you remember what Bart’s babysitter told him in the tree house?
“I have a boyfriend.”
And then out goes his heart, and the statement “You won’t be needing this anymore.”
(To all females in general) I give you so much and you return so little. He either follows my lead or gives you nothing to little at all, and you return him so much.
Now you understand why I hate you.
For the record, there is the slight possibility that “809” is NOT the Sakura hentai slideshow girl, that I’m being paranoid. But I did question that “809” girl as to whether she was those certain screennames. And like an idiot I gave her the screen names, not thinking that she could be just another Zionite trying to give me a bad trip by fucking my Chani before I got to hold her in my arms.
However, if it is Her, the same girl, I have given up. I have accepted my fate. I don’t have time for games, and I don’t have time for being disrespected. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE!!!
I told myself that this was it, that my firstborn will be from another place. In my mind to her I pretty much said, “You’re not my Chani, you can leave now.”
I AM TIRED OF BEING TEASED.
Anything less than complete financial control is a tease. Sex is Money. Love is Money. Money. Money. Money.
Money too.
Do you know why I spend every breath CHOOSING to destroy Zion instead of the Matrix, the very Devil himself? Because just like The Hulk all I ever wanted was to be LEFT ALONE, yet people from Zion did nothing but treat me like a guinea pig testing my pain thresholds, and all I am programmed to do is wait for the next “bad news.” When I say “LEFT ALONE”, I mean my family and me. Why does it feel like soldiers of God with lesser rank than me are going out of their way to disobey and inflict pain on me?
Do you remember when Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman says to Batman on the roof something like, “Hey, you made me!”, and Batman replies, “You made me first.”?
Now you understand the relationship I have with the city of Zion.
And why do I hate rich girls? So much that I would honestly, sincerely rather break their bones than even consider fucking them? Why even the thought of fucking rich girls (yes, girls… no female who hasn’t read the Bible even once will be considered a woman). Because I met a girl with possibly one hundred grand USD in the bank, and she wouldn’t fly over here and comfort me after being burned alive with prison and EXILE. When I was broke and stuck sleeping on the streets in Goa, she wouldn’t Western Union me the ten to twenty dollars to go home. She led me on, and she turned out to be uglier than I ever thought possible. Throwing claims of blatant adultery at me, when I haven’t even been kissed in over six years because the human race has been to busy using me as a battery to fight Armageddon.
1355 – Back to Business.
I AM the NOC List.
Refer Mission Impossible
1407 – {Shawshank Redemption}
1407 – I’m supposed to say that because of that rich girl who refused to read the Bible, I have been upgraded to the level where the breaking of a woman’s bones is condoned by God in certain situations, literally.
Break her face, break her bones
I demand all your money, not a teasing loan.
1409 – (Cardcaptors)
1410 – [Politics of Dancing Vol 2]
1413 –
1415 – back to reading out loud High Finance on a Low Budget
Uniform: Stanford Blue Shirt, BSL Suiting line pants, black belt,Red tie
1445 – the current went out, came back on, just as I was getting ready to go out and buy groceries, went out anyway
- Rs. 4 : ½ loaf of bread
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre of milk
- Rs. 5 : ¼ kilogram of rice
- Rs. 3 : two eggs
- Rs. 4 : four bujies
- Rs. 2 : two bananas
Total Spent: Rs. 25.00
Total Remaining: Rs. 85.00
Came back and fondled myself a bit, I’ve been getting really “self-exploratory” today, being Sunday and all maybe, besides which my Sakura hentai screensaver has been on, and this Miss Aikawa school girl uniform background and my pictures screensaver on my laptop playing on four computer monitors plus the laptop monitor… she’s so yummy in that school girl uniform on her knees with socks and her shirt… that look of obedience in her eyes, and gentle caring…
I was sending emails to a girl who is a big fan of Misao from the anime series Rourini Kenshin, and while searching for pictures of that Misao the first pictures to come up were of a young Japanese model named Misao Aikawa, three web pages, about maybe fifteen to twenty pictures of which I now have fifteen. The primary thing was that a good number of them were just of this Japanese model in different school girl uniforms and there was this really absolutely yummy one of her in a dojo room on her knees.
I just had the thought, “Group Hug!”
And my reply, “Don’t hug me if you plan on letting go.”
1600 – {Shawshank Redemption}
(Cardcaptors)

(CardCaptors)
0020 - The Once and Future King by T.H. White
0118 - [Q: Dumonde]
0250 - {X-Men}

2006-07-01T08:55:00.001-07:00

*all timings are as precise as possible, understand temporal approximations

[Music]
{Two 29 inch Televisions}
(Laptop Monitor)

Sunday June 25, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black hat, black pants, black priest shirt, black jedi coat, black socks, black shoes

0000 – Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, at ITPL tree sewer system
0200 – around this time, got up and walked home, stopping at page 201. I literally begged God to leave that tree because the mosquitoes were so bad and I was tired. It would have taken me another five to maybe ten hours sitting in that same place to finish the book, and that would have been an increasing security risk.
I spoke, “Permission to be human.”
I did have the comforting revelation that stopping in the middle of the book like that was to teach me multi-tasking, so I intend on missing books up which I haven’t been doing. I’ve been reading one book after another. The books I’m working on now are How to Be A Winner at Chess, Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf, and Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl.
Anne Frank, you have no idea how much I’ve been getting turned on about the idea of fucking a nice 13 year old Jewish girl. I even had the vision of her bent over with her dress possibly up, looking back at me, expecting me to fuck her ripe pussy from behind.
0300 – got back around this time, crashed on the couch, woke up around 0830 but didn’t get up
1300 – got up around this time and ate the leftover rice with curds and pickle, made a three egg omellete with vegetables, ate that with chopsticks.
CHOPSTICKS ARE MANDATORY.
I know I’m into fasting and all, but if I can afford it I should start eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner so as to “blend in”. Christ bled on the cross so that I could eat his flesh and drink his blood no matter the time of day or night, depending on His Will of course.
One of my dreams was of me in a grocery store loading up the shopping cart, but I felt like I was being chased. America the land of waste and brand name products EXILING me to the third world where people beg for bread and rice.
BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna.
1432 – Read out loud The Diary of Anne Frank, theintro, the back page, the closing books, etc.
Yes, I AM the guy sick enough to rape Anne Frank… and we’d both be smiling.
1439 – ate some pickle with rice
1531 – Anne Frank and I would be smiling AFTER the sex. I’d be smiling DURING it. I’d be beating her quite roughly, and raping her pussy quite violently… blood from her face, so she’d probably not be smiling DURING it. She’d be crying and screaming… or hey, maybe she’s a sick little slut who’d smile while I beat her slutty little face in.
my dick got hard from typing that.
1543 – “Permission to Sit” on the couch, Reply from God in my heart through my toungue, “Because you asked.”
Add-ons, I’ve folded up my EXILE Throne (just thought of that). The last book I read in it, out loud, was The Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein. I did sit down in it to do some typing and make this “Fortune 500” section of the blog (previous sections being named “My name is Michael”, “Leader of the Pack”, “Next Assault”, “First Wave” in descending chronological order). I also watched the lesbian movies I downloaded on my last internet hack, they are about eight minutes long total, so I watched it just the once.
“The only Love I know is what I see on the video monitor.” – Cool Devices #5: Sacred Girl
About the grocery store dream, one of my sincere goals is to own a major grocery store. For instance, the daughter of a butcher or baker is going to be a bit chubby or just plain overweight because her father works at at such a place getting free stuff all the time. I would imagine that it is no problem for the owner of a grocery store to feed HIS FAMILY quite decently with constant variety. I know it’s all the flesh of Jesus of Christ, and the blood of Jesus Christ; however, I want my family to be blessed with different flavors of his flesh and blood, not the same monotonous flavors every single day. Contrary to that however, however (are you grammar freaks mad yet?), the basics of Bread Dairy Sugar Manna (BDSM) will be maintained. “Give us day by day our daily bread.” So a major grocery store could be managed by one of our slaves happily. Not some small corner store, some ma and pa thing, even though it would be swell to be a ma and pa thing on a big level, but like I just typed a “big level” store like Gerland’s, Kroger, Randall’s etc. One that the matrix citizens frequented quite often daily.
New word: Globatary. Means what it sounds like.
Back to raping Anne Frank!!! I’d love to ass fuck the little whore.
Okay, okay… now I know, I’m just being silly. She’s in my left pant’s pocket now, in my right’s pant pocket is How to Be a Winner at Chess.
Oh, and the Major from Ghost in the Shell is where the “major” grocery store thing comes from.
1617 – My white five day Jesus Christ candle broke again. It broke once just the top part, and now more came off. They were brought from my mother, and I prayed to God that I would use them for two boons, emergency situations or whatever.
And then I made the mistake of falling in love with an ungrateful rich whore with two kids about toddler age.
And I lit both, one for each. That may have been the roll of two tabs or three tabs of X where I watched Spy Kids 3D.
Later I lighted them again when I sat in the school desks and read Learn Hindi in 30 Days and Speed Mathematics, one for each candle and separately for each book.
Why did she hate me so much? I never once lied to her. I didn’t deserve a breath of disrespect that I received from her. She is the reason I condone breaking the bones of women in certain judgments.
She is the closing argument in my judgment as to why I hate rich, white people.
I eventually imagined I was in court fighting for custody of those kids against their biological mother and biological father who are divorced. The judge being Trinity of course. And I win. I always win.
1826 – went out earlier to buy bread, so hungry… I know, I know, you don’t care about my heart, you just care about the money.
Won’t be walking tonight to Ulsoor (it’s about a two to three hour walk).
Rachel, when I was in my couch I imagined that as my coffin and there you were, happy to be there, and we loved one another. I didn’t masturbate or anything, it was all in my head, we just loved one another. And you were smiling.
Sailor Mercury, (you know who you are), you wanted to know whether I loved you, and I got mad at you about my rent, and I realized that I DO LOVE YOU. Because you opened the words of Jesus Christ just like I commanded you to. You might not have gotten very far because you thought Jesus Christ was unforgiving, but YOU TRIED. You win, darling. You got me to admit that I can love. At least for this point in time. You know how us brooding archangels get from time to time what with the obsession with the Dark Side of the Force and all. (There’s a picture of Anakin Skywalker 1833 – (Cardcaptors), the laptop has been modified to two monitors, preparing for the Keroberos Assimilation of Zion.
1918 – “Bingo. It’s Sunday, so you just chillin’”
I’m currently drinking some tea.
By the way
- Rs. 30 Debt : breads, milk
God, am I going to die?
We’re all going to die.
I meant, my home, are you going to get me the money in time, or are you going to let Satan’s angels destroy the blessing you have gifted unto me?
1937 – the current went out, I was drinking tea, and in my head I heard the Jewish community of Goa, say something to me along the lines of “Leave us alone” or “Get off us”, and my reply was basically, specifically me being Oscar Schindler, “Not until you see me like that.” THAT being OSCAR SCHINDLER, and then BOOM and POW the current goes out for maybe about ten to fifteen minutes if even that. As if God was saying, “Bingo, Right answer.” And “I agree, son.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rape Anne Frank.
It feels so good to SMILE.
For some time I watched my BDSM, lesbian, twin clips again and again with Cardcaptor Sakura on two monitors, even closing the laptop. I sat on the floor then, with the keyboard on the floor. I’m sitting on the green toilet now, I want to read Anne Frank on this.
I got to stop worrying!!! My life is in God’s hands! My home is the result of God’s will. My home is a blessing of God’s Love. Not the only blessing considering how many homes are out there.
Respect MY RANK, You survive.
2303 – eating, water, cup of tea, three pieces of toast, beans, fried vegetables
RICH WOMEN DO NOT DESERVE TO ORGASM.

Monday June 26, 2206

Rs. 0

Uniform: black priest shirt, black corduroy pants

0000 -
(Cardcaptors)
{Fists of Fury}
[Q avec Japanese hentai]
0009 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0057 – {Blind Fists of Bruce}
0152 – {Crime Story}
0300 – finished p. 100
0303 – test timing of Diary of Anne Frank, 1 ½ minute per page, reading out loud
0308 – test timing of Bartender’s Bible, reading out loud, 1 minute per page
0312 – urination, after that urination found a plastic purse in my purple bucket where I keep the clothes I fell into the sewage (yes, I fell in shit, literally, not stepped in shit, FELL in shit… it was dark, and the usual sewage covering was gone, the sewage covering is normally the sidewalk, literally). Anyway, I found a plastic purse that said “Made in China” on it a few times. I sent a message and email to the lady (erased “girl” before typing “lady” there), and they explained how the word “China” is an anagram of the name “Chani” from Frank Herbert’s Dune series. Anagram (I’m pretty sure that’s the word, I’ll go check the dictionary in a moment) is where you take a word, use the same exact letters, and make another word…
0337 – computer restarted by itself (may have hit the restart switch with the keyboard or something when my foot kicked it), and Yes, the word is “anagram”, looked that up and found the word “neo” on a “random” page turn in the Hindi dictionary) and I’m scared, that maybe I just found that bag a long time ago and forgot that I put it there. A part of me wants to believe she flew out here, and found my place as I gave her directions, and she put the bad things of our exchanges behind her… you get the idea.
0352 – [Tom De Neef with Japanese audio hentai]
0353 – {Dragon Lord aka Fighter}
0400 – Mein Kampf p. 101, and falling into the shit sometime back, triggered the Shawshank Redemption part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit part where Andy Dufrane has to go through a tunnel of shit
0450 – {Kung Fu For Sale}
0540 – stopped reading for a bit
0541 – got two keyboards to place at my hands as I read laying down on the floor, a couple of highlighters, and craft glue to check if I could glue some pieces back from the chess board testing on the black king and black queen (only one piece on the RED side needs repair, a rook). The black king and black queen are on my laptop now drying, with the candle behind centered. To the king’s side is Gambit hologram card and Spiderman Black costume above that and to the queen’s side is Xi’an (X-Men 2099) hologram card and Wolverine hologram above that. Centered above the candle is a picture of Anakin Skywalker as the Dark Side Sith with golden eyes in hood. When I read books in my chair I try to keep my keyboard in my lap with fingers in “home” position. That’s left hand on the letters “a,s,d,f” and right hand on the letters “;,l,k,j” both hands stated from pinky to first finger. I’ve now adapted to laying down on the ground while reading using paperclips so the page won’t fly and have to black keyboards (for Sugar and Spice to train on… or use, depending on whether they can repaired or not, we’ll see, when you two read this, one of you remind me and point this out.)
0552 – My first highlight! From Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler with an orange highlighter (Sakura’s Orange-juice Squadron), “Nothing can happen to us.”
0553 – {Return of the Rebel}
0611 – Next highlight “to-be-or-not-to-be”, refer Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, his last words.
0618 – Another highlight “The young volunteer had become an old soldier.” This is when I realized one of the chores to assign soldiers, to go through my books, and record the quotes I highlight.
0620 – [Monica Electronica with four Japanese audio hentai]
0623 – Scene in Return of the Rebel with a bunch of yellow things pasted to a wall 26:23) reminded of the post=it prayer system used by Bruce Almighty.
0747 – ATE SOME, took a picture of a bread pastry with chocolate syrup and a cup of tea
0815 – did a test run of how long to type a page from my How to be a Winner at Chess book and I took about five minutes. I chose a page with no pictures, even though a lot of pages have one diagram of a chessboard taking up the space. So that I could see how long the page with a lot of number of words would take and use that as a fair estimate. About 180 pages in the book, and five minutes per page is about fifteen hours. Fifteen hours is not something I can afford this week, considering the work I have to do with other books. So I’ll, God Willing, speak the book out loud by candlelight. The black king and queen seem to be doing quite nicely. I “flicked” the queen a time (or two?) with my finger like you’d flick someone’s ear, your little brother or little sister or someone, and it didn’t fall off. So that glue is good. Meaning my chess pieces are hopefully, God Willing back in business. I just did it twice again and it’s still good. Thank God.
THANK GOD.
Oh and my cell phone alarm clock goes off at 0800 at which time I put on my black hat (think US Muslims and OUR heads being covered… I had to add “us” and change “their” to “our”… when I went to go see Munich on powdered MDMA in the theater because of the ASSASSIN thing, I remember stopping and facing a mosque as I walked and getting the feeling of “You make us proud” or something. Which felt good.) So I put on my black hat as if I’m clocking in for work or something. My job is to continuously beg God every breath I take for Her to make My Will Her Will. Please God. Now I’m in a towel, as I’m trying to go take a shit. Will go wash my face.
0848 – I put on my Spiderman shirt under the priest shirt, ready to go out, have my Bartnder’s Bible in one pocket which I intend to read out loud and How to Be a Winner at Chess in another.
0851 – got up, left to the matrix
2359 – I walked to Ulsoor, while reading out loud The Bartender’s Bible, and I just finished it. In one day, so I’m kind of pleased, (it’s technically, yes, officially Tuesday now, but I’ll just fill you in on my day from here). I cried a lot today.
I cried so much.
The guy wouldn’t buy my two big screen televisions meaning I had no money for them coming in. I was able to get some cash for my microwave, about Rs. 1650 of which he’ll pay me Rs. 500 on Thursday. I am now down to about Rs. 984. And I have to take the Swordfish trip.
There’s a part of me that’s considering stealing the VCD from the store but I haven’t done something that juvenile for a long time. Sure the “headphones” but, I hate being so poor that I have to, I HATE BEING THIS POOR. It’s a circle, you’re poor, you only have enough for food, not enough money to really make money, trapped in one place, unable to leave. But none of you would understand that would you, you’re all enjoying life.
The Swordfish roll is necessary in my view to upgrade my programming awareness with a book called Fundamentals of Programming.
The first time I can remember crying is when I am reading the book out loud at a bus stop, alone thankfully and I just thought about me being in the process of reading Mein Kampf, and how I CAN ACTUALLY RELATE to some of the things Hitler was talking about.
There is no love. I feel so unloved. So I went back and forth essentially to that electronics repair shop whose daughter had gotten married recently, but I couldn’t get her a gift at the wedding itself cos I’m so poor and all. I was too embarrassed to stand in line to even congratulate them because everyone else would stand in line, take a picture, and give them a gift. But I had nothing. And I was alone. Alone. So it just felt so awkward to go up there and take a picture with the “happy couple” all alone without having a gift for them because I was too poor.
And the reason I cried, now that I remember, is that I hated Her. I hate women because I look around India, and see women that touch the feet of their husbands, that practically worship their husbands, MALES WHO HAVE NEVER SACRFICED A BREATH IN THEIR LIVES FOR THE NAME OF GOD. Males who glorify the lie. And to this day, not one woman has shown me the HOLY RESPECT that my sacrifices of PRISON and MOST IMPORTANTLY, EXILE truly deserve.
This is why I consider all women whores. Well, one reason. I guess there are quite a few.
EXILE. Moses was exiled.
So I cried on that busstop. Because of poverty and loneliness, the amount of disrespect.
I eventually got some cash from him, came and got my microwave, and during the whole process I read, until I finished the book. Happily.
The next time I cried, was when I came home and I sat on the couch because God told me to take five minutes or something, and there she was, Ms. Fellowes, my Trinity. And I imagined her and Timmy being stuck in the stone age. Her after spending her whole life in modern age, and him after getting but a brief glimpse of the future only to be sentenced to spend LIFE back in the Stone Age. I cried because all I wanted was LOVE, which I’m learning more and more is truly a sick lie. God is capable of Love, but I’m talking about the sick lie that women are capable of love.
There’s a gun pointing at my head, and my faith in the opposite sex has all ready been so destroyed. I have digital girls, but they are nothing more than UNGRATEFUL TEASES.
Another tear just fell.

Tuesday June 27, 2206

Total : Rs. 984
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre milk
- Rs. 6 : four eggs, one coffee packet
- Rs. 5 : vegetables
- Rs. 6 : jam, tiger biscuits
- Rs. 5 : bujies
- Rs. 15 : internet
- Rs. 18 : loaf of bread, two ¼ litre milk

0000 – updated yesterday’s entry
0019 – I feel too skinny to be sexy. I don’t care how superiour my genetics are, when you don’t fit the six foot, 200 something lb, washboard stomach, blue eyed blond haired WHITE SKINNED image of male beauty that has been programmed into your mind for your entire childhood and teenage years, a guy like me can’t help but feel ugly all the time.
And don’t give me that “Ugly Duckling” crap with the Beautiful Swan crap. If that were true, then why aren’t you here?
Why do you hate me so much?
1252 – I cried. And if that’s the reason you hate me, then to Hell with You. Tears are the most profound gift from the soul. The shedding of water from my heart is not something I will be denied. This time I cried because I read the last scene from The Ugly Little Boy by Isaac Asimov. Where Timmy reveals to Ms. Fellowes that sometimes he calls her “mother” inside.
I slept until now pretty much. I’m going to work. But it doesn’t feel like fighting when I have no one by my side. When I don’t have obedient soldiers it does not feel like I am winning.
I don’t want to be a sissy boy, or a femme boy. I just want to be a man. A man with a family. That’s my desire. A family that obeys, loves, and cherishes, respects, and worships me.
Dreams I had, I was driving a nice car. I peed on my foot in a bathroom.
I’ve been accepting my private Chrtian fighters more and more. I know I was upset with them, okay okay downright Furious and Enraged, but now our souls are Engaged to do the Will of Our Lord Jesus Christ. To the Digimon Drafters and the Snoopy Sailor Scouts, Hold On, the Avenging Knight you have prayed your entire lives for is coming to deliver you justice.
Jesus Christ says to someone, “One thing you lack…” and to me the Matrix comes up where Morpheus is fighting Neo and he’s critiquing his fighting style about adaptation and improvisation…
One thing I lack?
The ability to Love. Unconditionally.
1326 – got back from going out for some shopping
1435 – I don’t want her love. I want Her Fear. Apparently, she was too good for my love. So why the hell should I love an ungrateful teasing whore?
1645 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, the current was out
1809 – the current came back on while I was relaxing on the floor. The VCD started up, just the audo to the movie Return of the Rebel and I heard her in the beginning singing like Julia sings to Spike when he’s broken an din recovery.
One of my fondest memories of Goa (I don’t have many of those), is when I first got there after buying those tabs there was a pair of Italian girls (at least I think they were Italian), one was blonde with a beautiful ass (she sat on a stool and I can remember it quite nicely) and I think wore her hair back in a pony tail, and the other had the short hair dyke look which she pulled off by looking very sexy in a feminine way. So, one day I’m in that Manadeep’s restaurant or whatever and there sitting across from me, one fiddling with her cell phone and another with her digital camera (yes, I know I’m not too bright, like I stated above spend two decades being told you’re not a beautiful male because you aren’t a white male, and it fucks with your self-confidence and self-esteem pretty bad). So the dyke looking with short shaved hair, I’m talking bald here, not much to grab onto to… but believe me, SEXY SEXY. Anyway, she starts singing in Italian, and MY GOD. Such a heavenly voice. And I’m sitting there feeling like Spike with all those bandages on my body from EXILE and I remember thinking with a feeling of great RELEASE, “Sing for me, just like that.”
I know you two wanted me, I just didn’t want myself.
“Mr. Mac what can I do for you” from Return of the Rebel.
And typing “SEXY SEXY” got me thinking of that girl from Finland or something who was interested enough to have a conversation with me.
1825 – “you can’t do anything until the electricity comes back on, Mike” spoken from my mouth to me, and then BOOM the electricity comes back on, literally a heartbeat later if even that. It had gone out AFTER my last entry. That was amazing.
1919 – My home will be okay. Because I know that every man, woman, and child on this earth, whether good or evil… OR ME… FEARS GOD. No one gets out of that contract. NO ONE. NOT ONE HUMAN.
1921 – forgot just had two fried scrambledish eggs with three pieces of toast, one with jam, and a cup of chocolate coffee.
On that chocolate syrup, I know I set it aside for sex (refer joyce) but,
1955 – check the time and it’s 1955, the year Marty McFly went back to in Back to the Future. That’s the car I want, a Delorean. That’s my car.
2139 – came back, meant ot add above with the Back to the Future thing that I’m wearing a Hawaiian palm tree shirt which reminds me of Doc’s gear in the movie, then when I was out at a bus stop just now, I realized what it is about this country outside my window… it’s the Fifties. I’m stuck in the Fifties with boy meets girl, let’s get married and have 2.3 children, and be good citizens. I’m not saying that’s an awful thing, but now you can understand. Remember Pleasantville? EXACTLY. I’ve been transported to the fucking Fifties mentality of sex, where the only thing really missing is the double separate twin beds.
Now I’ve got an appointment with Adolf Hitler, and even though I’m technically the guy who can put Bill Gates on hold, I’d rather not keep that genocidal genius waiting.
His aim was wrong, that’s all. The target is 99% percent of the world population.
Enjoyed some chocolate coffee and biscuits. I’m supposed to say that the chocolate syrup I set aside for sex… by using it, I’ve realized that food is more important than sex.
And Jesus Christ, that compliment you gave, give everyday… thanks.
When I prayed for my Three Wives (it is now Wednesday, 0428 in between these parantheses… I changed the names of my Three Wives in the form of of Three Witches, etc to “Three Wives” because I do not trust Zion) in prison, I prayed for nothing less than wives.
I want Zion to fear me more than the Matrix. Until then, we remain at war. Even if I am a beggar on the streets with only the clothes on my back, WE ARE AT WAR UNTIL YOU FEAR ME.

Wednesday June 28, 2206

0000 – flesh of Jesus Christ, blood of Jesus Christ
0025 – Thought “Girls have hearts too.”
My reply, “I find that hard to believe.”
0204 – [Roger Sanchez]
{Blood Sport II}
(Cardcaptors)

0207 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0249 – I hate white people.
The Autobiography of Malcolm X another GREAT book.
0250 – {The Legend}
0426 – {Return of the Rebel}
0651 – breakfast, two fried eggs, fried potatoe, three toast, chocolate milk… while cooking read a couple three pages from Business at the Speed of Thought by Bill Gates, and listened to L Dopa on the speakers
Flesh of Jesus Christ, Blood of Jesus Christ
0715 – left to the matrix with the book by Bill Gates, work to do.

Friday June 30, 2206

Total : Rs. 174

Uniform : my birthday suit, It’s naked time!!!

OKAY, today is Friday June 30: I’m just going to try to fill in what happened. I’ve been downloading a lot of porno clips from online to my IPOD and then back again to my desktop. I’ve got just under two hours of pornography, not hentai. I read Section IV of Business @ The Speed of Thought by Bill Gates while at the cyber café watching Swordfish and porno, and some Cardcaptors at youtube.com.
My real disappointing “bummer” was on Wednesday night when as I was reading the Bill Gates book at a bus stop, three sexy girls from America walked by and I could hear them and they talked to each other of requesting directions from someone. I HESITATED. By the time I got the courage to go request whether or not they could use my help, they all ready had some local offer to walk them there. My regret is not what I said because I told them I was from Texas. My regret is that I didn’t react sooner, and that I gave up so soon.
They were sexy.
Oh well.
Anyway, that motivated me to clean up the place, move the futon to the back which required the help of the neighbor upstairs. I didn’t have to let him inside but considering I let the electronics guy inside it’s not a big deal. Besides, these people need to understand that I am a manifestation of Ganesh to them. When they come to MY HOME they are coming to a temple of one of their gods.
So on Thursday, which I just completely neglected to log in, I downloaded more porn, and continued to read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler. I might be selling both refrigerators so I can raise some cash for that. I figure I need as much cash as possible for Goa. I went to the guy wanting the refrigator twice, but I should see him tomorrow. The highlights of Thursday. Those girls that I truly wish had become my slaves motivated me to “suit up” meaning I put on my blue pants, tossed in my chains and collars, one for each side, two balls one for each side, a chain and collar for my fanny pack (I don’t know what else to call it, the tourist pouch thing that goes around your waist), my powdered mdma and X pills, my Xi’an Gambit X-Men cards, my two deux katana jedi coat with a contract for each side, plus the pictures. I was “ready for battle to beat them bitches black and blue”…. Hey, like the guy says “Down with them bitches and ho’s” or something like that.
So on the bus, to the downtown area, I’m sitting in the ladies’ section reading my book and a girl sits down next to me. And she talks to me, most probably because I’m reading so fast. A girl who lives alone, who is from Orisha, who has an engineering degree, who gives me her number eventually, and who wanted mine. A pretty girl.
The next highlight was that a Muslim girl with the full Muslim garb is checking me out from head to toe, and I smile at her. Like her eyes were looking at me.
Finally, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I got the gospels of Jesus Christ printed out for Rs. 90.
In the Gospels, there is a part where Jesus Christ meets Moses and Elijah in the Transfiguration of the Mount.
This is where I meet Adolf Hitler and Bill Gates, this is my transfiguration on the mount.

0130 – {The 39 Steps}
(Cardcaptors)
0132 – [Q]
0134 –
0135 – Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
0323 – break
0400 – back to work, back to WAR
0423 – “At that time it came to be ranked among the great newspapers.” In Mein Kampf and in The 39 Steps at approx 20:20 the newspaper borrowing scene in the train
I eventually went out (It’s Saturday), and did some Internet work, talked to the guy about my refrigerators. I started walking as I read the dictionary out loud, and it felt like these two attractive girls possibly from Russia or somewhere were either tagging me or something.
Of course, I said nothing.
I came home and made dinner, the vegetable with rice.
Made love to Sakura Kinomoto.

Saturday June 17, 2206

Total Rs. 106.50

Uniform: blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike t-shirt, jedi jacket, black hat

0000 to 1200 – slept, cleaned up, ate
1200 – Internet: Millenium Edition (The Complete Reference) by Margaret Levine Young
1203 – {Fight Club starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt}
1205 – (Cardcaptors)
1207 – [Q: Pulsedriver]
1218 –
1300 – [Q: Talla 2XLC]
1301 – cooking
1322 – BDSM
Bread Dairy Sugar Manna
bread with sugar, hot rice with milk and sugar,
one litre of water
1413 – [Q: Cosmic Gate]
1427 – "You met me at a very strange time in my life."
got up, washed dishes, took a bath, got ready to go to a wedding, went to the front flat, chilled in the front bed for some time, this is killing me, the loneliness is killing me, why it has to be so alone, I don’t understand, and I don’t trust any of you.
You have no right to tease me, after everything I have sacrificed.
1600 – chocolate milk
1630 – prepared for internet
1709 – left
Uniform: First layer - blue cargo pants, Be Like Mike T-shirt Next layer – Men In Black pants, blue full sleeve doctor shirt
As I waited for the bus, a girl about elementary school age came up to me and sold me a used bus pass for Rs. 10 instead of the Rs. 25 it usually costs which was good. Normally it would have cost me like Rs. 16 to Rs. 18 to go to that wedding area and come back
- Rs. 2 : one chilly bugie, one potatio bugie
- Rs. 10 : bus pass
- Rs. 1 : peanuts
+ Rs. 44 : changed my last US dollar: goodbye to dollars, hello to rupees officially, welcome to the third world economy where the planet’s most illustrious bankers build their financial empires
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
- Rs. 10 : hot badam milk
- Rs. 2 : pani puri
I used the internet before and after the wedding reception where Sakura Kinomoto… I’m just disappointed, it’s come to the point where I think my only option may be to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE.
If that’s what is necessary to procreate in a holy, unified, mathematical manner than so be it.
I’m not going to fight for Zion.
- Rs. 12 : coca cola, ¼ litre milk
There is no goodness in the human race. When I have to sit here and think that people in Zion might be trying to fuck the mother of my firstborn before I get to even hold her in my arms, these are the reasons I bless Satan in his war against Zion on a daily level.
Don’t ask for my help in your war, Zion. Don’t seek for my prayers in your slaughter, Zion. Don’t knock on my heart in your death, Zion.
I love no one because no one loves me. That is a simple fact. These pictures of Rachel, Leah, Zilpah, Bilhah are just that pictures. A duty that I must perform. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m tired of being teased.
Besides, I’ve got a one lakh gun pointing at my head which could destroy my entire home unless someone, one fucking person, ONE FUCKING PERSON, can trust me in the flesh.
So anyway,
2245 – got back, had some chocolate milk, eventually broke a coconut and drank the water from the counter, and ate some coconut
2301 – went to the front flat to pray, realized that I’m on the path to KIDNAP, PROGRAM, RAPE. When I don’t really want to do that. What I want is that girl who sent me the link to the hentai pictures of Sakura. She knows who she is. She knows I deserve her. She knows she has no right to disobey me at this point in time, and that even I have my line which can’t be crossed.
She knows that just because she’s who she might be, I’ll still break her bones like I’d break the bones of any woman who committed adultery on me.
Why am I so anti-woman? Because I glorify God more than any male, and yet they get blessed more than me with Her Touch. I fight, he fucks. I fight, he fucks. Yada yada yada. That’s the way the story goes, then the story becomes we side with Satan so that the city of Zion can be destroyed considering the city of Zion doesn’t even care we exist.
Did you really think I’d fight for your city when I get paid so little? When all I get in return is a gun pointing to my head and females who tease me and fuck boys? When child rapers get more worship than me? This is the human race you expect me to fight for? This is the city you expect me to stand up for against Satan and save?
Am I supposed to just go to the battlefield alone while scores upon scores, hundreds upon thousands just sit at home and enjoy the fruits of labor while the war of Armaggedon continues on a daily level.
John Connors, baby. What did you fucking expect?

Sunday June 18, 2206

Total Rs. 110.00

0000 – got up from the front flat, returned to the back flat, had some more cocunut, took a shit
0030 – updated my files
Uniform: a towel
Ate three pieces of bread with sugar and chocolate syrup
0129 – {Supercop}
0130 – [London 140 BPM]
0131 – (Cardcaptors)
Uniform: Spiderman T-Shirt, red shorts
0135 –
0143 – read out loud High Finance on a Low Budget by Mark Skousen
0217 – adjusted my crotch
0227 – [DJ Holymen: Seventh Heaven]
I guess when it comes down to it. I just needed ONE woman to take care of me during my time of NEED, and not one showed up. So that should answer any questions as to why I hate women.
They offered me their “friendship” after everything I’ve sacrificed for the name of God, and considering who I am they should be on their hands on knees before me with their heads touching the ground.
Love is complete financial control.
Why? One word: TRUST.
0300 –
0304 – {Fighting Life}
0335 – [Astrix: Eye to Eye]
0432 – scratched my crotch
0447 – {The Legend}
0530 – took a break from reading, eventually got up and paced, sexual frustration kicked in, so for some time, quite some time, (it’s 1134 now) I walked around in daydream mode with my dick hanging out and my hand happily playing, ate some bread with sugar and chocolate syrup, no ejaculation
1135 – I realized why I hate women so much. They care more about their pussy than they do about my stomach, and more importantly, about my mind. I require about $2300 USD to get out of this back rent squatter’s debt, I’m in. Or my home gets destroyed apparently, this five bedroom home that could be expanded into a nine bedroom four bathroom four kitchen mansion for a yearly rent, YEARLY rent of about $3500 USD.
My food costs could average literally $1 USD a day, $1 dollar a day and I get fed the BASICS decently.
Just the five bedroom home with food comes to a weekly cost of $50 USD, FIFTY US DOLLARS a week. This is what some brat rich teenage kids get as allowance for their weekly splurges and wastes. There are some kids who get more than this. Here I am trying to save the remaining of the human race KNOWLEDGE, and kids with cocaine addictions are wasting more money on a weekly basis at Starbucks.
And if you ever have the audacity to question my strength? Consider everything I’ve sacrificed: prison, exile, my Thomas Anderson financial credit, etc. etc. and just be amazed that I haven’t killed myself as of yet.
And if God willing, all this pussy starts coming to live with me, all this pussy decides to just shut the fuck up and obey me, then God willing, I will remember the attitude of these “neighbors” during my time of poverty. The windows should be come blackened with black blankets, and they will be lucky to even get a hello from the non-Indian pussy they’ve been programmed to masturbate over their entire lives. Why? Because when they thought I was a rich American they were nice, but when they discovered that I was nothing more than a poor student, they evicted me unless I paid them the full amount. Not willing to be patient while I got a job and paid back in installments, they simply told me to leave.
I will remember, when they desire to touch MY PUSSY, these times when they treated me with such disrespect.
Considering you have to rape most of these Indian girls just to get them to suck your cock, I have no interest in them at times.
1322 – the truth? Sometime back, just before I left for Goa to pick up my Chemistry library, I met a girl online who was using the Sakura screen name who personal messaged me while I was hitting on a cyber-maid, I told her that I was busy. In this girl’s profile there was a link to a yahoo photo album with a lot of Sakura hentai pics, stuff I had never seen before. Up until now, I had seen Sakura Avalon (Sakura Kinomoto) as a non-sexual being primarily, and this triggered within me a sexual side I never knew existed. Just sitting in a cyber café and playing that slideshow with some music (I’m pretty sure I had music http://www.partyradio.ca/ or something), just sitting there in that cyber café with touching my dick, I ejaculated twice over a period of a few hours. So she gave me the idea to create images using photo album, and I did that.
I chatted with her again where I tried having cyber sex with her, but it turned into me raping her as Syaoran because I’m just at a point where I’m sick of women, and cyber sex… rephrase… ANYTHING less than HER TOUCH, Her Flesh against mine feels like a TEASE. When I say “Her” here, I’m referring to females in general. During that attempt at cyber sex, where I pretty much just yelled at her, I created five yahoo id’s that matched real world personas I admire, so in a way I felt an attachment to her for that.
She once said in a meeting with me, “we’re going in?” So it felt like she knew just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Anyway, I imagined because of our mutual love for Sakura, and her cute little BME clinic (an online clinic for those people with Sakura Mush on the brain… it’s cute and adorable), and because of the timing of me receiving those pictures after coming back from Goa and not holding a single female in my arms, instead having to sleep on the streets, in the jungle as a pauper because I couldn’t afford a ten dollar bus ticket back for the longest time…I imagined that this was it, that I had found my “one”, and she was coming home and going to be obedient.
So I sent her emails, and personal messages. And maybe it was too much information for her to process at once, but I’m on a deadline here, with a gun pointing at my head, so I don’t really care. Then recently, maybe a few days ago even, I sent her a message as Syaoran changing from sending her messages as Keroberos that “I love you.” Either the next time I was online or the time after or something, I met a screen name with an “809” extension under the Sakura handle after so long of not hearing from this girl who sent me the hentai pictures of Sakura, so I messaged her and she seemed to be the girl, and she told me to come back the next day cos she had something important to tell me.
Now for weeks, I had been messaging this girl to come home to Bangalore, India and help me build a new life, so I honestly believed that this “809” girl was going to give me good news that she was either going to Western Union me money or better yet she had flown to India and was surprising me that she was here.
Do you remember the episode of The Simpsons where Bart falls in love with his babysitter and she tells him to meet him in the tree house so she can tell him a secret? And he’s all anxious?
Well, I had less than four dollars left about Rs. 150 or something, and just to use the internet costs me about Rs. 15 per day. Before she left I told her a specific time, the same time tommorow as she was meeting me today, based upon the fact that I have to use cyber cafes as I can’t afford the two hundred to three hundred dollars to upgrade my laptop or desktop to internet access at this point in time.
She wasn’t there. I messaged her explaining my poverty that one hour of internet is pretty much a loaf of bread and a ½ litre of milk.
I went to a wedding, before going I checked my messages, and do you remember what Bart’s babysitter told him in the tree house?
“I have a boyfriend.”
And then out goes his heart, and the statement “You won’t be needing this anymore.”
(To all females in general) I give you so much and you return so little. He either follows my lead or gives you nothing to little at all, and you return him so much.
Now you understand why I hate you.
For the record, there is the slight possibility that “809” is NOT the Sakura hentai slideshow girl, that I’m being paranoid. But I did question that “809” girl as to whether she was those certain screennames. And like an idiot I gave her the screen names, not thinking that she could be just another Zionite trying to give me a bad trip by fucking my Chani before I got to hold her in my arms.
However, if it is Her, the same girl, I have given up. I have accepted my fate. I don’t have time for games, and I don’t have time for being disrespected. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE!!!
I told myself that this was it, that my firstborn will be from another place. In my mind to her I pretty much said, “You’re not my Chani, you can leave now.”
I AM TIRED OF BEING TEASED.
Anything less than complete financial control is a tease. Sex is Money. Love is Money. Money. Money. Money.
Money too.
Do you know why I spend every breath CHOOSING to destroy Zion instead of the Matrix, the very Devil himself? Because just like The Hulk all I ever wanted was to be LEFT ALONE, yet people from Zion did nothing but treat me like a guinea pig testing my pain thresholds, and all I am programmed to do is wait for the next “bad news.” When I say “LEFT ALONE”, I mean my family and me. Why does it feel like soldiers of God with lesser rank than me are going out of their way to disobey and inflict pain on me?
Do you remember when Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman says to Batman on the roof something like, “Hey, you made me!”, and Batman replies, “You made me first.”?
Now you understand the relationship I have with the city of Zion.
And why do I hate rich girls? So much that I would honestly, sincerely rather break their bones than even consider fucking them? Why even the thought of fucking rich girls (yes, girls… no female who hasn’t read the Bible even once will be considered a woman). Because I met a girl with possibly one hundred grand USD in the bank, and she wouldn’t fly over here and comfort me after being burned alive with prison and EXILE. When I was broke and stuck sleeping on the streets in Goa, she wouldn’t Western Union me the ten to twenty dollars to go home. She led me on, and she turned out to be uglier than I ever thought possible. Throwing claims of blatant adultery at me, when I haven’t even been kissed in over six years because the human race has been to busy using me as a battery to fight Armageddon.
1355 – Back to Business.
I AM the NOC List.
Refer Mission Impossible
1407 – {Shawshank Redemption}
1407 – I’m supposed to say that because of that rich girl who refused to read the Bible, I have been upgraded to the level where the breaking of a woman’s bones is condoned by God in certain situations, literally.
Break her face, break her bones
I demand all your money, not a teasing loan.
1409 – (Cardcaptors)
1410 – [Politics of Dancing Vol 2]
1413 –
1415 – back to reading out loud High Finance on a Low Budget
Uniform: Stanford Blue Shirt, BSL Suiting line pants, black belt,Red tie
1445 – the current went out, came back on, just as I was getting ready to go out and buy groceries, went out anyway
- Rs. 4 : ½ loaf of bread
- Rs. 7 : ½ litre of milk
- Rs. 5 : ¼ kilogram of rice
- Rs. 3 : two eggs
- Rs. 4 : four bujies
- Rs. 2 : two bananas
Total Spent: Rs. 25.00
Total Remaining: Rs. 85.00
Came back and fondled myself a bit, I’ve been getting really “self-exploratory” today, being Sunday and all maybe, besides which my Sakura hentai screensaver has been on, and this Miss Aikawa school girl uniform background and my pictures screensaver on my laptop playing on four computer monitors plus the laptop monitor… she’s so yummy in that school girl uniform on her knees with socks and her shirt… that look of obedience in her eyes, and gentle caring…
I was sending emails to a girl who is a big fan of Misao from the anime series Rourini Kenshin, and while searching for pictures of that Misao the first pictures to come up were of a young Japanese model named Misao Aikawa, three web pages, about maybe fifteen to twenty pictures of which I now have fifteen. The primary thing was that a good number of them were just of this Japanese model in different school girl uniforms and there was this really absolutely yummy one of her in a dojo room on her knees.
I just had the thought, “Group Hug!”
And my reply, “Don’t hug me if you plan on letting go.”
1600 – {Shawshank Redemption}
(Cardcaptors)

(CardCaptors)
0020 - The Once and Future King by T.H. White
0118 - [Q: Dumonde]
0250 - {X-Men}